I'm not a bad person, I just do bad things

[doodab]

And to the lady waiting for the toilet in pret, all I can say is it'll be ok if you hold your breath.

[mudskipper]

I don't think you should be allowed to tulip in a food establishment. That's just disgusting. Save your tulip for a garage, or furniture showroom, or the office.

[bless 'em all]

Taking a full on, no holds barred dump in public facilities is considered 'the fourth most anti-social act that's not actually a crime' in todays society.

You could have lit a match.

[doodab]

I don't think you should be allowed to tulip in a food establishment. That's just disgusting. Save your tulip for a garage, or furniture showroom, or the office.

You know the loos in furniture showrooms aren't plumbed in don't you?

[MaryPoppins]

What if he didn't have a choice? I'm thinking of my own brush with death this week after eating a packet of dried apricots.

Mistake.

[doodab]

Taking a full on, no holds barred dump in public facilities is considered 'the fourth most anti-social act that's not actually a crime' in todays society.

You could have lit a match.

And set the fire alarm off? I'd probably be arrested for attempted arson. Besides, who has matches these days?

[Pondlife]

What if he didn't have a choice? I'm thinking of my own brush with death this week after eating a packet of dried apricots.

Mistake.

I'm seriously starting to worry about your eating habits MP.

MP's shopping list
Gherkins
Dried apricots

[Mich the Tester]

Taking a full on, no holds barred dump in public facilities is considered 'the fourth most anti-social act that's not actually a crime' in todays society.

You could have lit a match.

More evidence of modern society's moral confusion.

[d000hg]

I don't think you should be allowed to tulip in a food establishment. That's just disgusting. Save your tulip for a garage, or furniture showroom, or the office.

You know the loos in furniture showrooms aren't plumbed in don't you?

And taking a dump in your garage? Disgusting.

What if he didn't have a choice? I'm thinking of my own brush with death this week after eating a packet of dried apricots.

Mistake.

Medical emergencies are different. I'm sure they'd rather you made a mess of the toilet than the floor.

[MaryPoppins]

I'm seriously starting to worry about your eating habits MP.

MP's shopping list
Gherkins
Dried apricots

The apricots won't be appearing on the shopping list again anytime soon. But a gherkin is a must, after work, straight out the fridge.