So do you flash the cash or do the Ladies / Gents pay for your company?

[vetran]

Did she know you could 'barely' afford it? - no, she had no idea until she noticed me selecting a starter for a main.

OR DID YOU BOOK IT IN A RIDICULOUS ATTEMPT TO IMPRESS HER - Yes all my fault, I was smitten and having spent six months trying to get her to date me I was damned if I was going to ruin it by being a cheapskate. I was however living on toast so I could pay my mortgage thanks to the ERM.

AND FEEL BITTER WHEN SHE FAILED TO OFFER TO PAY AT LEAST HALF? - good god no, I was delighted she spent the evening with me. It was a long term investment IMHO.


She suggested paying for the second date I was blown away because up till then almost none of my girlfriends had paid until it got to a serious level, or they were well mannered girls and it meant I had no chance of it going further.

I have been bitten before but enough about my sex life.

apologies if you have such a low opinion of me.

[MaryPoppins]

Did she know you could 'barely' afford it? - no, she had no idea until she noticed me selecting a starter for a main.

OR DID YOU BOOK IT IN A RIDICULOUS ATTEMPT TO IMPRESS HER - Yes all my fault, I was smitten and having spent six months trying to get her to date me I was damned if I was going to ruin it by being a cheapskate. I was however living on toast so I could pay my mortgage thanks to the ERM.

AND FEEL BITTER WHEN SHE FAILED TO OFFER TO PAY AT LEAST HALF? - good god no, I was delighted she spent the evening with me. It was a long term investment IMHO.


She suggested paying for the second date I was blown away because up till then almost none of my girlfriends had paid until it got to a serious level, or they were well mannered girls and it meant I had no chance of it going further.

I have been bitten before but enough about my sex life.

apologies if you have such a low opinion of me.

Jeez. Let me get out my tiny violin.

[northernladuk]

I will offer to pay first, if the lady objects or wants to go halves I will accept her wishes

Absolutely this for me. I don't think there is anything wrong with being chivalrous and making a decent impression but that is what I would like to do so if she has other ideas am happy to accommodate. I certainly don't see it is paying for the company, just keeping ugly finances out of the way of a decent night. If it is clear I am allowed to pay I also try and do it out of the way of the table so as not to rub it in.

[northernladyuk]

Absolutely this for me. I don't think there is anything wrong with being chivalrous and making a decent impression but that is what I would like to do so if she has other ideas am happy to accommodate. I certainly don't see it is paying for the company, just keeping ugly finances out of the way of a decent night. If it is clear I am allowed to pay I also try and do it out of the way of the table so as not to rub it in.

Have you moved to an alternate reality?

[vetran]

Jeez. Let me get out my tiny violin.

why do you need a violin?

I have been happily with her for Decades, we have happy healthy children and still love each other?

I was trying to recount a story about how different she was than her predecessors and how lucky I was to be with her. As I said it was love at second date.

She noticed I was being careful but at the time it was the done thing for the man to pay. So to even it up (despite her being on a lot less than me) she offered to organise & pay for the second date.

I hadn't discussed my financial situation which was a combination of high mortgage rates, low pay and high taxes. As I said I was living on toast but she wasn't to know that.

Sorry if you ladies have to dissect every part of my post and try accuse me of being a male pig?

Seems a little sad you see bad in everyone? The Poll & subject was supposed to be a little jokey sorry you didn't get it.

Remember I haven't dated for 20 years.

[mudskipper]

why do you need a violin?

I have been happily with her for Decades, we have happy healthy children and still love each other?

I was trying to recount a story about how different she was than her predecessors and how lucky I was to be with her. As I said it was love at second date.

She noticed I was being careful but at the time it was the done thing for the man to pay. So to even it up (despite her being on a lot less than me) she offered to organise & pay for the second date.

I hadn't discussed my financial situation which was a combination of high mortgage rates, low pay and high taxes. As I said I was living on toast but she wasn't to know that.

Sorry if you ladies have to dissect every part of my post and try accuse me of being a male pig?

Seems a little sad you see bad in everyone? The Poll & subject was supposed to be a little jokey sorry you didn't get it.

Remember I haven't dated for 20 years.

You were surprised that women who are happy to pay their own way exist and used your date with Mrs V to illustrate your point.

[MaryPoppins]

why do you need a violin?

I have been happily with her for Decades, we have happy healthy children and still love each other?

I was trying to recount a story about how different she was than her predecessors and how lucky I was to be with her. As I said it was love at second date.

She noticed I was being careful but at the time it was the done thing for the man to pay. So to even it up (despite her being on a lot less than me) she offered to organise & pay for the second date.

I hadn't discussed my financial situation which was a combination of high mortgage rates, low pay and high taxes. As I said I was living on toast but she wasn't to know that.

Sorry if you ladies have to dissect every part of my post and try accuse me of being a male pig?

Seems a little sad you see bad in everyone? The Poll & subject was supposed to be a little jokey sorry you didn't get it.

Remember I haven't dated for 20 years.

I don't think we were accusing you of that, lighten up. As you say, times change.

[SimonMac]

On the basis that I can eat more than you and prob earn more than you, so it would only be fair....

so, are the guys expected to put out for me?

Only one way to find out

[vetran]

You were surprised that women who are happy to pay their own way exist and used your date with Mrs V to illustrate your point.

yes.

My experience had been very different up to that point, however see it in context.

Most of my dating was done once I was on professional money. My financial situation was due to me having a mortgage I could just afford and then historically high interest rates however the perception was I was well paid.

Most of the ladies I dated were not professionals with a large disposable income. Both of you I assume are earning well above average wage.

Most of my Girlfriends were in their teens and early twenties and had not been married or cohabited so were not used to sharing costs.

It was 20 years ago when the trends were different.

I'm not saying my girlfriends never paid but it was normally after the relationship had developed.

The point was that Mrs V had noticed my predicament immediately and dealt with it without embarrassment, most of her predecessors hadn't even noticed. Some knew damn well and took me for every penny - those probably went on to marry BrilloPad.

[MaryPoppins]

Most of the ladies I dated were not professionals with a large disposable income. Both of you I assume are earning well above average wage.

I would offer to pay half regardless. If I couldn't afford the place I was being taken, I'd be up front about that before the date. I wouldn't just 'expect' someone else to foot the bill.