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Project Gangnam Style

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    #21
    Originally posted by suityou01 View Post
    I can try Janet and John speak if it helps as plain English didn't cut it with you. Then again you aren't all there are you

    Steps in a project :

    Call darmstadt
    Tell him what needs doing
    Agree a price
    Let him be (no PMs, BAs, meetings, interference, any of that tulip, etc.)
    Finished on, or before time, with extras, professionally
    FTFY
    Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.

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      #22
      Originally posted by suityou01 View Post
      I can try Janet and John speak if it helps as plain English didn't cut it with you. Then again you aren't all there are you

      Steps in a project :

      Business case signed off.
      Get budget.
      Plan phase 1.
      Hire staff.
      Get cracking.

      In this case

      Hire staff.
      Get cracking.
      Define business case.
      Get budget (or not )
      Plan phase 1.

      Does this help? ...
      That is kind of what I thought. But I found it hard to believe anyone would be daft enought to sign up for a project in this state.

      (Or possibly it's because I'm just a dumb techy).
      Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

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        #23
        Couple of points.

        1. WGAS

        2. What's all this permie speak bollox? Baseline the requirements? PMSL.

        Just get over yourself and deliver for once.

        HTH BIDI

        Comment


          #24
          Originally posted by suityou01 View Post

          Worked with tonnes of difficult stakeholders and am an excellent BA with some large projects for big names under my belt successfully. Next?
          It certainly sorted out those detached from reality!

          Otherwise, always on the lookout for good BAs, if you can cope with a disorganised PM with no base-lined requirements of course!

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            #25
            Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post

            Hire staff.
            Get cracking.
            Define business case.
            Get budget (or not )
            Plan phase 1.
            I'm new to this formal planning process, is this called Agile? I think I understand waterfall where each level pisses on the one below it.

            Comment


              #26
              Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
              That is kind of what I thought. But I found it hard to believe anyone would be daft enought to sign up for a project in this state.

              (Or possibly it's because I'm just a dumb techy).
              I was lied to. I was told the project was stood up. This happened to me once before, and I turned it around admirably.

              I wasn't having a winge, more saying "here we go again", but considering the PM has been called out on this by me there's a good chance I won't get the chance.

              We'll see.
              Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

              Comment


                #27
                Originally posted by suityou01 View Post
                I was lied to. I was told the project was stood up. This happened to me once before, and I turned it around admirably.

                I wasn't having a winge, more saying "here we go again", but considering the PM has been called out on this by me there's a good chance I won't get the chance.

                We'll see.
                What do you mean 'the PM has been called out on this'...Do you know what is happening in the background? You may well be a great BA, but you are sounding a wee bit naive! Things aren't always black and white you know.

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                  #28
                  Originally posted by suityou01 View Post
                  I was lied to. I was told the project was stood up. This happened to me once before, and I turned it around admirably.

                  I wasn't having a winge, more saying "here we go again", but considering the PM has been called out on this by me there's a good chance I won't get the chance.

                  We'll see.
                  Hey Suity, dont get me wrong, you sound like a US Navy Seal at times, the man to get things done, but every time you post about your new gig I get the feeling of Deja Vu.

                  Its the same thing again and again, 10 interviews before you get the gig, you go in and find that the project is in a tulip state, you then admirably turn it around and show the PM how things are done, project is back on track and going great and you get sacked. Rinse repeat in various parts of UK, Germany and some other countries you managed to get in.
                  Vote Corbyn ! Save this country !

                  Comment


                    #29
                    Take your baseline, put in in a requirements freeze, call thrice daily scrums in the war room, starting with a kick-off meeting and check all deliverables against the product risk matrix, then synergize your resources into a crack commando that delivers a top class HR solution to your stakeholders.

                    I'm feeling slightly sick now.
                    And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

                    Comment


                      #30
                      Originally posted by suityou01 View Post
                      I wasn't having a winge
                      Yeah you were.
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