Still on bench and might have to sleep on it as well

[vetran]

If divorce is not finalised what legal grounds she has to kick you out of your own house using lawyers?

she accuses him of knocking her about and calls the Police a few times. He gets a criminal record and even less chance of seeing the kids. Seems to be standard practice.

Only when she marries the boyfriend do you get out of maintenance (not child payments), they will live in sin for years.

[mudskipper]

she accuses him of knocking her about and calls the Police a few times. He gets a criminal record and even less chance of seeing the kids. Seems to be standard practice.

Only when she marries the boyfriend do you get out of maintenance (not child payments), they will live in sin for years.

Jeez, none of us have any idea what's happened here or who's done the dirty on whom (if indeed anyone has).

[vetran]

Jeez, none of us have any idea what's happened here or who's done the dirty on whom (if indeed anyone has).

no we don't but that is quite a common scenario AIUI, would explain why he might have to leave.

[mudskipper]

no we don't but that is quite a common scenario AIUI, would explain why he might have to leave.

Probably a lot less common than couples simply falling out / having affairs / being horrid to each other.

[SueEllen]

Probably a lot less common than couples simply falling out / having affairs / being horrid to each other.

You forget you are only suppose to see it from one point of view on here and another on mumsnet

[AtW]

she accuses him of knocking her about and calls the Police a few times. He gets a criminal record and even less chance of seeing the kids. Seems to be standard practice

I hope I never get divorced... might continue to rent

[vetran]

You forget you are only suppose to see it from one point of view on here and another on mumsnet

I get the yummy mums and yakky mums round my house, its surprising how Mr Perfect becomes the 'wife abuser' in days without any apparent cause.

[MPwannadecentincome]

she accuses him of knocking her about and calls the Police a few times. He gets a criminal record and even less chance of seeing the kids. Seems to be standard practice.

its surprising how Mr Perfect becomes the 'wife abuser' in days without any apparent cause.

Well not far of the mark. All I ever wanted to do was live within our means and 'er indoors did everything possible to get as much as possible until we have thousands in credit card debts. Her story was that I with-held money, asked where she was spending money and therefore financially and mentally controlled her particularly after 15 years I had become so frustrated that I could not discuss and deal with finances without getting angry and hence scaring the kids. Domestic violence support "groups" or people or whatever they are called believed her story (they never checked for the truth) and even though there was no physical violence advised her to call social services and get me out of the house - hence the threat of court and the lawyers.

Now money is dwindling rapidly and soon I will have a bad credit rating when I can't make the minimum payments. Whilst I am unemployed she will get nothing and actually won't even get enough benefits to cover all the bills and will have to go to charities for food tins - ironic when she visits the shops and buys more than can be eaten before the "use by" date and also throws the new stuff in the fridge so the old stuff goes out of date un-eaten.

To top all that I was referred to a CBT therapist for anger management - she assessed my situation and said CBT cannot help me as the "situation" at home with 'er indoors is the cause of the anger.

So me moving out is the best step I can take right now, I have just had to ask my 85 year old Dad to be guarantor for my rent otherwise no-one wants to let their room to unemployed people round where I live.

[AtW]

Effing insane

[Paddy]

Well not far of the mark. All I ever wanted to do was live within our means and 'er indoors did everything possible to get as much as possible until we have thousands in credit card debts. Her story was that I with-held money, asked where she was spending money and therefore financially and mentally controlled her particularly after 15 years I had become so frustrated that I could not discuss and deal with finances without getting angry and hence scaring the kids. Domestic violence support "groups" or people or whatever they are called believed her story (they never checked for the truth) and even though there was no physical violence advised her to call social services and get me out of the house - hence the threat of court and the lawyers.

Now money is dwindling rapidly and soon I will have a bad credit rating when I can't make the minimum payments. Whilst I am unemployed she will get nothing and actually won't even get enough benefits to cover all the bills and will have to go to charities for food tins - ironic when she visits the shops and buys more than can be eaten before the "use by" date and also throws the new stuff in the fridge so the old stuff goes out of date un-eaten.

To top all that I was referred to a CBT therapist for anger management - she assessed my situation and said CBT cannot help me as the "situation" at home with 'er indoors is the cause of the anger.

So me moving out is the best step I can take right now, I have just had to ask my 85 year old Dad to be guarantor for my rent otherwise no-one wants to let their room to unemployed people round where I live.

This is so typical and unfortunately the laws in this country are archaic and the judiciary are bias in favour of women during divorce. Moreover, the expectations of women are drummed into them by the media from an early age. Drastic problems need drastic solutions. You should consider bankruptcy. Your kids won't starve but you may end up on the streets if you don't put yourself first.

My brother in-law has suffered hell because of his divorce and he wanted to hold on the relationship with his kids. He bought his ex a flat and on top of the settlement he bought his two kids a flat each and paid for their uni and expenses. The ex contributed nothing to her kids and moved into to the son's flat and rented out her own. The kids have suffers years of propaganda from their mum and they only phone dad when they want extra money to buy a car or something. It all becomes a bit artificial. I have seen similar so many times.

I worked with a contractor who was pushed out of his house. He ended up in a tulip bedsit while he paid the mortgage and expenses for his ex and her boyfriend and the kids.

Another contractor got to keep the kids but he still had to split and pay half of everything to the ex even though she had a job and a new boyfriend.

There are some good women and hardworking women around but they are very few.