Demystifying Agency Job Advert Terms

[MyUserName]

Outstanding problem solving skills
We have no idea why this doesn't work

C++, C, Design Patterns, STL, Boost
C++ and whatever the hell else this thing uses - literally we have no idea where it came from.

C#, WPF, WCF
C# and C++

[SueEllen]

Self starter
The office is chaotic and the client is not sure exactly what they need you to do.

Highly motivated
See "Working to strict deadlines"

[Peoplesoft bloke]

Team player

Management arse licker

Prestigious Organisation

Tuliphole no-one wants to work at

Highly focused

We want a one dimensional moronic automaton who lives only for work

[suityou01]

This just in, on email!!!

"The candidate will need to be comfortable dealing with ambiguity and working with minimal guidance together with picking up complex legacy application interactions in order to be successful."

Cluster****?

[SueEllen]

Test Driven Development
We are too cheap to hire and pay Testers and QA properly plus it's one of the latest buzz words.

Friendly atmosphere
One of the biggest bunch of *******, bigots and bitches you will ever meet in one place.

[Dominic Connor]

It's also the case that more the client demands X years experience and a bewildering list of buzzwords, the less they are willing to pay.

That seems to come from a more begrudging attitude in the form of "if we're paying all this money they have to be Practically Perfect in Every Way".

Sadly few of us are Mary Poppins

[SimonMac]

It's also the case that more the client demands X years experience and a bewildering list of buzzwords, the less they are willing to pay.

That seems to come from a more begrudging attitude in the form of "if we're paying all this money they have to be Practically Perfect in Every Way".

Sadly few of us are Mary Poppins

Are you sure

View Profile: MaryPoppins - Contractor UK Bulletin Board

[eek]

o You must be able to work under pressure and have a can do attitude.

You arse is ours and we will work you to an early grave.

[SueEllen]

It's also the case that more the client demands X years experience and a bewildering list of buzzwords, the less they are willing to pay.

That seems to come from a more begrudging attitude in the form of "if we're paying all this money they have to be Practically Perfect in Every Way".

Sadly few of us are Mary Poppins

Don't think you have the point of this thread.

[Mich the Tester]

Exciting new startup
Client has no money. Rate will be as little as possible (if they don't go bust).

Been there, done that. Any excuse to avoid paying. Golden rule I learned from painful experience and have since heard from a few very successful entrepreneurs; don't work for a startup unless it's your own startup.