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Demystifying Agency Job Advert Terms

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    #41
    Outstanding problem solving skills
    We have no idea why this doesn't work

    C++, C, Design Patterns, STL, Boost
    C++ and whatever the hell else this thing uses - literally we have no idea where it came from.

    C#, WPF, WCF
    C# and C++
    "He's actually ripped" - Jared Padalecki

    https://youtu.be/l-PUnsCL590?list=PL...dNeCyi9a&t=615

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      #42
      Self starter
      The office is chaotic and the client is not sure exactly what they need you to do.

      Highly motivated
      See "Working to strict deadlines"
      "You’re just a bad memory who doesn’t know when to go away" JR

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        #43
        Team player

        Management arse licker

        Prestigious Organisation

        Tuliphole no-one wants to work at

        Highly focused

        We want a one dimensional moronic automaton who lives only for work
        Last edited by Peoplesoft bloke; 21 May 2013, 21:00.

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          #44
          This just in, on email!!!

          "The candidate will need to be comfortable dealing with ambiguity and working with minimal guidance together with picking up complex legacy application interactions in order to be successful."

          Cluster****?
          Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

          Comment


            #45
            Test Driven Development
            We are too cheap to hire and pay Testers and QA properly plus it's one of the latest buzz words.

            Friendly atmosphere
            One of the biggest bunch of *******, bigots and bitches you will ever meet in one place.
            "You’re just a bad memory who doesn’t know when to go away" JR

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              #46
              It's also the case that more the client demands X years experience and a bewildering list of buzzwords, the less they are willing to pay.

              That seems to come from a more begrudging attitude in the form of "if we're paying all this money they have to be Practically Perfect in Every Way".

              Sadly few of us are Mary Poppins
              My 12 year old is walking 26 miles for Cardiac Risk in the Young, you can sponsor him here

              Comment


                #47
                Originally posted by Dominic Connor View Post
                It's also the case that more the client demands X years experience and a bewildering list of buzzwords, the less they are willing to pay.

                That seems to come from a more begrudging attitude in the form of "if we're paying all this money they have to be Practically Perfect in Every Way".

                Sadly few of us are Mary Poppins
                Are you sure

                View Profile: MaryPoppins - Contractor UK Bulletin Board
                Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
                I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

                I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

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                  #48
                  o You must be able to work under pressure and have a can do attitude.

                  You arse is ours and we will work you to an early grave.
                  merely at clientco for the entertainment

                  Comment


                    #49
                    Originally posted by Dominic Connor View Post
                    It's also the case that more the client demands X years experience and a bewildering list of buzzwords, the less they are willing to pay.

                    That seems to come from a more begrudging attitude in the form of "if we're paying all this money they have to be Practically Perfect in Every Way".

                    Sadly few of us are Mary Poppins
                    Don't think you have the point of this thread.
                    "You’re just a bad memory who doesn’t know when to go away" JR

                    Comment


                      #50
                      Originally posted by Bunk View Post
                      Exciting new startup
                      Client has no money. Rate will be as little as possible (if they don't go bust).
                      Been there, done that. Any excuse to avoid paying. Golden rule I learned from painful experience and have since heard from a few very successful entrepreneurs; don't work for a startup unless it's your own startup.
                      And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

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