Demystifying Agency Job Advert Terms

[cojak]

Core skills required:
Core skills required:
C++, C#, WPF, WCF, .NET, Java, C, TFS, Windows, Linux, Unix, Mainframe, UFOs, MFI, Scripting languages (all), OOD, OOM, FFS, whatever else you have heard of but one version newer.

... actually I don't know. I have no idea what rationale agents have for requirment lists like this.

By answering this ad we have inadvertently discovered a bigger BS merchant and Dick than we are.

The client will be delighted...

[billybiro]

Core skills required:
C++, C#, WPF, WCF, .NET, Java, C, TFS, Windows, Linux, Unix, Mainframe, UFOs, MFI, Scripting languages (all), OOD, OOM, FFS, whatever else you have heard of but one version newer.

... actually I don't know. I have no idea what rationale agents have for requirment lists like this.

Keyword searching/matches.

Agent's know that potential candidates are searching job sites based upon keywords and/or location (and also possibly rate), therefore they make sure their job advert is returned in the search results when candidates search for technologies that are only tangentially related. That list will have little to nothing to do with the actual requirements for the role.

Agent's do the same thing when searching through a database of candidate CV's which is why it's important, irrespective of how cr*p it looks, to have a section within your CV that is a long list of acronyms and keywords. Helps you get noticed!

[bless 'em all]

At least five years experience of Sharepoint 2012

We don't make up our job specs but we do copy and paste technologies into them with a passion.

[Paddy]

Keyword searching/matches.

Agent's know that potential candidates are searching job sites based upon keywords and/or location (and also possibly rate), therefore they make sure their job advert is returned in the search results when candidates search for technologies that are only tangentially related. That list will have little to nothing to do with the actual requirements for the role.

Agent's do the same thing when searching through a database of candidate CV's which is why it's important, irrespective of how cr*p it looks, to have a section within your CV that is a long list of acronyms and keywords. Helps you get noticed!

Copy, paste use white text between paragraphs. Problem solved

[Zippy]

Fast-paced

We can't organise a piss-up in a brewery, so we do lots of shouting and threatening instead.

Work hard, play hard culture

We expect at least 3 hours a day free overtime and you'll have to have a beer with the permies afterwards. And we expect you to buy the first and last round.

[SueEllen]

Core skills required:
C+$, C#, WPF, WCF, .NET, Java, C, TFS, Windows, Linus, Unix, Mainframe (COBRA, AS4000) , UFOs, MFI, Scripting languages (pythan, Java Scipt, Rubble, Groovey), Shell Scripting (tzch, bish), OOD, OOM, FFS, whatever else you have heard of but one version newer.

I can't find anyone on the CV database we have as I can't spell the technologies the client wants.

[SueEllen]

Use to working with teams based overseas
Can deal with lying people from a certain country who deliver rubbish late.

Agile
The client plans SFA and likes meetings so you just have to deal with it to deliver something.

[NotAllThere]

I can't find anyone on the CV database we have as I can't spell the technologies the client wants.

In fact, can't really spell teknology.

[GB9]

Junior Position
Don't even think about it unless its a 30 second walk from your front door to the office. A commute by bus and a sandwich from the canteen would leave you out of pocket

AKA Local Candidates Preferred

Use to working with teams based overseas
Can deal with lying people from a certain country who deliver rubbish late.

Agile
The client plans SFA and likes meetings so you just have to deal with it to deliver something.

So you've worked at a Northern-based supermarket too?

In fact, can't really spell teknoWlogy.

Fixed for you

[norrahe]

No 9-5 mentality

We expect you to work all the hours that god sends and weekends if we can get away with it.