Nicking pensions makes it all better...

[cojak]

All today's pension scheme members will be left with when they retire, if they're lucky, is round about the same pittance that all the people that never joined pension schemes in the first place will get from the state anyway. If you've ever been unemployed you'll recognise the irony: despite having paid tax for years to support the NI system, you'll find you get a whole 7 weeks to find a job or you'll be on the same crap money as every dole bludger that's never worked a day in their lives. Don't be surprised when, aged 75 (or whatever the retirement age will be then) you experience the exact same level of contempt.

So what do you do for providing for your old age Gentile?

[alreadypacked]

So what do you do for providing for your old age Gentile?

Marry rich, die young

[OwlHoot]

So what do you do for providing for your old age Gentile?

I'm pinning my hopes on robots being available and cheap by the time I retire, so I can have a butler, chauffeur, and (if necessary) nurse rolled into one.

[Gentile]

So what do you do for providing for your old age Gentile?

When people ask me that question, they usually have a pension themselves. And they usually rephrase it slightly to "but what are you going to do for money when you retire?". To which my answer is invariably "exactly the same as you're going to do, except I won't have spent 30-40 years first getting screwed over by a pyramid scheme that wasn't worth nearly as much to me as I'd been led to believe".

However, to address the question that you actually asked, my 'Plan A' is to use the property I've invested in to fund my old age. If that doesn't work (and I suspect it won't completely cover it), my Plan B is to keep doing what I can do until I can't do it any more, then visit Dignitas in Switzerland for a nice one way holiday at the end of what I hope will be a fulfilling life between now and then (assuming of course the law hasn't changed by then, and we don't have Futurama-stylee suicide booths on every street corner that can do the necessary right here in the UK).

Whatever I actually end up doing, I'm certainly not going to allow misguided worries about how I'll afford to pay for the miserable existence that appears to constitute old age to force me to make unwise financial investments here and now, in the prime of my life. I enjoy what I do, and am living now, in the present. I don't harbour any naive dreams about living some idyllic and wealthy dotage. Most likely, if I'm even solvent by the time my old age comes, and if I'm lucky, I'll be too knackered to care about whether it's the state, my property portfolio or some pension company that by that time sees me as a liability that'll be paying for my minimum-cost nursing home and barely-adequate 'care'.

The whole pyramid scheme that is pensions is based on the premise that people secretly know old age sucks, and they would like some way to make it suck a little less. Unfortunately, nothing is going to achieve that. Old age is nature's way of making you feel glad rather than sad when you eventually reach the end of the line, as we all will some day. Whether you pay some pension company a hefty portion of your salary / dividends each month whilst you're still young enough to enjoy the ride makes no difference to that harsh reality.

[fullyautomatix]

When people ask me that question, they usually have a pension themselves. And they usually rephrase it slightly to "but what are you going to do for money when you retire?". To which my answer is invariably "exactly the same as you're going to do, except I won't have spent 30-40 years first getting screwed over by a pyramid scheme that wasn't worth nearly as much to me as I'd been led to believe".

However, to address the question that you actually asked, my 'Plan A' is to use the property I've invested in to fund my old age. If that doesn't work (and I suspect it won't completely cover it), my Plan B is to keep doing what I can do until I can't do it any more, then visit Dignitas in Switzerland for a nice one way holiday at the end of what I hope will be a fulfilling life between now and then (assuming of course the law hasn't changed by then, and we don't have Futurama-stylee suicide booths on every street corner that can do the necessary right here in the UK).

Whatever I actually end up doing, I'm certainly not going to allow misguided worries about how I'll afford to pay for the miserable existence that appears to constitute old age to force me to make unwise financial investments here and now, in the prime of my life. I enjoy what I do, and am living now, in the present. I don't harbour any naive dreams about living some idyllic and wealthy dotage. Most likely, if I'm even solvent by the time my old age comes, and if I'm lucky, I'll be too knackered to care about whether it's the state, my property portfolio or some pension company that by that time sees me as a liability that'll be paying for my minimum-cost nursing home and barely-adequate 'care'.

The whole pyramid scheme that is pensions is based on the premise that people secretly know old age sucks, and they would like some way to make it suck a little less. Unfortunately, nothing is going to achieve that. Old age is nature's way of making you feel glad rather than sad when you eventually reach the end of the line, as we all will some day. Whether you pay some pension company a hefty portion of your salary / dividends each month whilst you're still young enough to enjoy the ride makes no difference to that harsh reality.

In summary this means that you were not able to make a decision regarding pensions untill it was too late and now you are regretting the fact that you dithered over it and so spend an awful amount of time trying to convince yourself that pensions are worthless and are nothing but a pyramid scheme.

[escapeUK]

Gold coins are the answer. They cant be taxed, keep their value despite inflation, and are all shiny!

[DimPrawn]

When people ask me that question, they usually have a pension themselves. And they usually rephrase it slightly to "but what are you going to do for money when you retire?". To which my answer is invariably "exactly the same as you're going to do, except I won't have spent 30-40 years first getting screwed over by a pyramid scheme that wasn't worth nearly as much to me as I'd been led to believe".

However, to address the question that you actually asked, my 'Plan A' is to use the property I've invested in to fund my old age. If that doesn't work (and I suspect it won't completely cover it), my Plan B is to keep doing what I can do until I can't do it any more, then visit Dignitas in Switzerland for a nice one way holiday at the end of what I hope will be a fulfilling life between now and then (assuming of course the law hasn't changed by then, and we don't have Futurama-stylee suicide booths on every street corner that can do the necessary right here in the UK).

Whatever I actually end up doing, I'm certainly not going to allow misguided worries about how I'll afford to pay for the miserable existence that appears to constitute old age to force me to make unwise financial investments here and now, in the prime of my life. I enjoy what I do, and am living now, in the present. I don't harbour any naive dreams about living some idyllic and wealthy dotage. Most likely, if I'm even solvent by the time my old age comes, and if I'm lucky, I'll be too knackered to care about whether it's the state, my property portfolio or some pension company that by that time sees me as a liability that'll be paying for my minimum-cost nursing home and barely-adequate 'care'.

The whole pyramid scheme that is pensions is based on the premise that people secretly know old age sucks, and they would like some way to make it suck a little less. Unfortunately, nothing is going to achieve that. Old age is nature's way of making you feel glad rather than sad when you eventually reach the end of the line, as we all will some day. Whether you pay some pension company a hefty portion of your salary / dividends each month whilst you're still young enough to enjoy the ride makes no difference to that harsh reality.

You sound like a barrel of laughs. It's usually blokes that are jaded miserable bastards, so well done on that one.

[Gentile]

In summary this means that you were not able to make a decision regarding pensions untill it was too late and now you are regretting the fact that you dithered over it and so spend an awful amount of time trying to convince yourself that pensions are worthless and are nothing but a pyramid scheme.

Yeah, that must be it. That must also be why I took my money out of the 'gold plated' pension scheme that was available when I worked in the public sector, having decided it wasn't worth keeping it there.

[escapeUK]

You sound like a barrel of laughs. It's usually blokes that are jaded miserable bastards, so well done on that one.

I thought she sounded quite sensible and grounded in reality.

[Gentile]

You sound like a barrel of laughs. It's usually blokes that are jaded miserable bastards, so well done on that one.

I don't need to justify myself to you. However, there's nothing jaded about recognising that old age is going to suck: that's just facing reality. I enjoy life now, and don't let fear of old age detract from that enjoyment.

As for my being a "barrel of laughs": I wasn't actually attempting to make anyone laugh in this instance, but rather think. Or have I misunderstood? - was your opening post on the subject of pensions merely the build up to to some witty joke that we've yet to be blessed with the punchline of?