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Ouch, don't take it all so personally northern lad.
Do you by any chance live at home with your folks NorthernLad? A real big balled hard man that you are?
I think I may have worked with you, there was this twat at my last place, yes sounds like you
He would go into meetings and place his di*k on the table just before he opened his mouth. Yes definitely sounds like you.
NORTHERN LAD, NORTHERN LAD HERE COMES NORTHERN LAD. What a wolly.
FFS, I hope you don't have access to a firearm. 
