A weekend jaunt to the the North Somerset coast found my wife and I revisiting one of our favourite haunts, The Bottom Ship at Porlock.
What a difference a few weeks makes - gone were the folkies and the pogoing vicar and in their place a couple of elderly country gentlemen on one table and a dapper old chap in tweeds on another.
We exchanged greetings as we positioned ourselves on a table between the two parties and ordered a couple of bitter lemons while our neighbours returned to their conversation, the topic of which appeared to be about walking banana trees. One of these two gentlemen was going blue in the face as he implored his drinking partner to believe that he had witnessed this phenomenon whilst on active duty in British Honduras back in the 1950s and he started banging his fist on the table and spluttering at his friend's incredulity.
The entrance of another old couple restored calm to the proceedings and they took up a table in the corner of the room. Once seated, one of our newly arrived couple turned to our expert on roving banana trees and enquired "Don't I know you?"
"I don't know because I can't see you very well" came the reply.
"Oh, I can't see you very well either!" barked the original questioner
"Well, how the bloody hell do you recognise me if you can't see me?" The answer didn't come as our banana expert let out an earth shattering belch.
"How dare you belch in front of my wife!"
"Sorry old chap, didn't realise it was her turn".....
.....and all the while our solitary old dandy in the corner had remained silent cradling a very large whisky mac. But now, it was his turn to speak as another player entered the room. He put his glass down and stood up to address the newcomer; "I really have been here rather a long time", he announced. He managed a wan smile and promptly fell flat on his face.
Listening to all that, I felt that for once in my life I emerged as the voice of sanity from the whole experience.
Note: I have since done some research into walking banana trees and it seems that there is a grain of truth to the assertion. It would appear that banana trees can move - up to 40 cm or so over a number of years; Whatever our friend witnessed while he was out bashing Guatemalans in Central America can probably be put down to the effects of too much palm toddy.
What a difference a few weeks makes - gone were the folkies and the pogoing vicar and in their place a couple of elderly country gentlemen on one table and a dapper old chap in tweeds on another.
We exchanged greetings as we positioned ourselves on a table between the two parties and ordered a couple of bitter lemons while our neighbours returned to their conversation, the topic of which appeared to be about walking banana trees. One of these two gentlemen was going blue in the face as he implored his drinking partner to believe that he had witnessed this phenomenon whilst on active duty in British Honduras back in the 1950s and he started banging his fist on the table and spluttering at his friend's incredulity.
The entrance of another old couple restored calm to the proceedings and they took up a table in the corner of the room. Once seated, one of our newly arrived couple turned to our expert on roving banana trees and enquired "Don't I know you?"
"I don't know because I can't see you very well" came the reply.
"Oh, I can't see you very well either!" barked the original questioner
"Well, how the bloody hell do you recognise me if you can't see me?" The answer didn't come as our banana expert let out an earth shattering belch.
"How dare you belch in front of my wife!"
"Sorry old chap, didn't realise it was her turn".....
.....and all the while our solitary old dandy in the corner had remained silent cradling a very large whisky mac. But now, it was his turn to speak as another player entered the room. He put his glass down and stood up to address the newcomer; "I really have been here rather a long time", he announced. He managed a wan smile and promptly fell flat on his face.
Listening to all that, I felt that for once in my life I emerged as the voice of sanity from the whole experience.
Note: I have since done some research into walking banana trees and it seems that there is a grain of truth to the assertion. It would appear that banana trees can move - up to 40 cm or so over a number of years; Whatever our friend witnessed while he was out bashing Guatemalans in Central America can probably be put down to the effects of too much palm toddy.
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