3.5 hours on 1 stretch of the M25

[Old Hack]

3 years commuting from Reigate to Farborough. Very good day, 40 mins, bad day 2 hours. Average day 1.30.

Now piling up the M5/M42/M6 and if I leave early enough, can bang it out in 2.5 hours. Has taken 7 hours coming back down in the afternoon.

Life in the UK. If you haven't factored in traffic in the South East, then my cuppeth of sympathy runs not overeth

[oscarose]

So I had my interview today in Brighton and ended up flying to heathrow and renting a car out (cheapest option). On the way there it was fine, met up with a friend in south London afterwards. Left nice and early only to be faced with perhaps the worst driving experience I have ever had. Countless accidents, lane closures, broken down vehicles. The M25 was literally the worlds biggest car park. I missed my flight by 10 mins and am now shattered. Never again will I go near that hellish motorway ......

Bad luck old chap.

Better luck next time.

[NotAllThere]

...Life in the UK. If thou hast not factored in traffic in the South East, then my cup of sympathy runneth not over

FTFY.

[Spacecadet]

Have they made an offer yet or not?

[Sysman]

I know Brentwood sucks, and carpet bombing is an option in town planning, but I really don't think the Brentwood Massive pose a threat to the US, do you?

Precedent:

Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Slough!
It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn't grass to graze a cow.
Swarm over, Death!


Come, bombs and blow to smithereens
Those air -conditioned, bright canteens,
Tinned fruit, tinned meat, tinned milk, tinned beans,
Tinned minds, tinned breath.


Mess up the mess they call a town-
A house for ninety-seven down
And once a week a half a crown
For twenty years.


And get that man with double chin
Who'll always cheat and always win,
Who washes his repulsive skin
In women's tears:


And smash his desk of polished oak
And smash his hands so used to stroke
And stop his boring dirty joke
And make him yell.


But spare the bald young clerks who add
The profits of the stinking cad;
It's not their fault that they are mad,
They've tasted Hell.


It's not their fault they do not know
The birdsong from the radio,
It's not their fault they often go
To Maidenhead


And talk of sport and makes of cars
In various bogus-Tudor bars
And daren't look up and see the stars
But belch instead.


In labour-saving homes, with care
Their wives frizz out peroxide hair
And dry it in synthetic air
And paint their nails.


Come, friendly bombs and fall on Slough
To get it ready for the plough.
The cabbages are coming now;
The earth exhales.

[DaveB]

"Many phenomena - wars, plagues, sudden audits - have been advanced as evidence for the hidden hand of Satan in the affairs of Man, but whenever students of demonology get together the M25 London orbital motorway is generally agreed to be among the top contenders for exhibit A."

"...the very shape of the M25 forms the sign Odegra in the language of the Black Priesthood of Ancient Mu, and means 'Hail the Great Beast, Devourer of Worlds.' The thousands of motorists who daily fume their way around its serpentine lengths have the same effect as water on a prayer wheel, grinding out an endless fog of low-grade evil to pollute the metaphysical atmosphere for scores of miles around. It was one of Crowley's better achievements... and had involved three computer hacks, two break-ins, one minor bribery and, when all else had failed, two hours in a squelchy field shifting the marker pegs a few but occultly incredibley significant meters"

[alluvial]

"Many phenomena - wars, plagues, sudden audits - have been advanced as evidence for the hidden hand of Satan in the affairs of Man, but whenever students of demonology get together the M25 London orbital motorway is generally agreed to be among the top contenders for exhibit A."

"...the very shape of the M25 forms the sign Odegra in the language of the Black Priesthood of Ancient Mu, and means 'Hail the Great Beast, Devourer of Worlds.' The thousands of motorists who daily fume their way around its serpentine lengths have the same effect as water on a prayer wheel, grinding out an endless fog of low-grade evil to pollute the metaphysical atmosphere for scores of miles around. It was one of Crowley's better achievements... and had involved three computer hacks, two break-ins, one minor bribery and, when all else had failed, two hours in a squelchy field shifting the marker pegs a few but occultly incredibley significant meters"

Crowley also claims responsibility for...

• - Welsh-language television
• - Most television in general...
• - ...especially game shows...
• - Value-added tax
• - Manchester, England
• - Glasgow, Scotland
• - The widespread use of record-keeping
• "There are always records... It was one of my better ideas" (p. 91).
• - Funding the Witchfinder Army
• - Explaining the helicopter to Leonardo daVinci
• - Terrifying his houseplants

I can believe the bit about Welsh language TV
From Here

[BrilloPad]

In theory everyone is short of cash so the roads should be clear. In practice they will stop feeding their kids to buy petrol. Same is true for sky sports, mobile phone bills, etcetc.

[Sysman]

Were you expecting to move down for the duration? Otherwise that sounds like a job from hell. Why would you ever expect the south side of the M25 to be anything short of a car park??? I have seen loads of stuff come up for Redhill in surrey but theres no way Id apply because I know that I will end up mostly sat in traffic and the rates won't support accommodation.

I once drove from Yorkshire to Crawley to get into a system after someone's top technical man had died in an accident and left them without access.

It was a journey from hell.

I then realised why that customer had been pestering me to get a car phone. I didn't see the point when my normal commute was 15 minutes, but they obviously spent vast chunks of their waking lives sat in traffic.

What a waste of both human and natural resources.

There was another contractor there that day who had travelled from Liverpool. The sensible chap had done it by train.

[Old Hack]

FTFY.

I was being silly, deliberately this time...