Contract week 3 suity update - A Poll

[suityou01]

So it's coming to the end of week 3. In true bedwetting me me me look at me style, a poll.

Poll to follow :

[eek]

So it's coming to the end of week 3. In true bedwetting me me me look at me style, a poll.

Poll to follow :

Go on then. But only because I hope this contract is going well and is as relaxing as my current one.

[MarillionFan]

Where's the 'I hope Suity dies in a nasty accident involving diapers' option?

[suityou01]

Go on then. But only because I hope this contract is going well and is as relaxing as my current one.

Settle petal, we're waiting for the poll.

Not relaxing at all btw.

[suityou01]

Phew, a dead heat between not fussed and yes please.

Shall I just get the **** on with it?

[suityou01]

The update

Times was hard, the war chest gone and just recovering from a stress related illness I got this crummy little asp dev role. So I started and from the moment I got there I was told the development work was off-shored and I was the business analyst. So I started doing the BA bit, and suggested as timescales were short taking an agile approach. "You had us at burndown chart" came the response. So I tidied up and the off-shore team are well onto it, we are on plan and have some capacity to manage change. All ticking along.

Then I asked about config and release management? More shuffling of feet and murmuring. Then I get asked to look at the plan and give my feedback, which I did. Next think I know, at the team meeting I am announced as the new team leader

So I gets the PM to one side and says, oi pal, happy to take this new role on but it'll cost ya. He ok's it. So I get on with planning all the interdependances on the workstreams that have been missed, arrange meetings, chase people for stuff, help out where I can. Do this for about a few days.

Then the PM tells me I'm doing a good job, and outshining everyone including him. Alarm bells. I apologise and ask for a clearer definition of what team leaders do and what I have picked up by mistake. We go through my list of tasks, and he tells me who to pass them to, but then realises just how much I have picked up and realises the handover-ees are going to be mightily pissed off when they inherit this workload.

So I get demoted back to BA. I carry on doing my BA tulip, and tell people who to talk to as I'm no longer dealing with this stuff any more.

Then I get a PM saying "We're in room xx, come quick!" and I leg it in there and there's a programme manager giving my PM a sound kickin.

I sit down and they turn their guns on me. Where are we with this, and this and this and this etc etc. Like Neo out of the matrix I calmly stop all the bullets in mid air, and then return fire. This is with so and so, this is on hold, this is a blocker to this etc etc. The detail in my brain was pretty impressive for just two days as team leader.

The attack dog is silent for a moment, then says, "So it's under control. Fine". Then dismisses us.

Afterwards the PM asks me to stop wearing a suit and tie to work as he only wears an open neck shirt and a jumper. I have obliged.

Today he trudged around moaning, and I got hauled into a data migration meeting where their data architect was spouting loads of "blockers" that didn't sound like blockers at all to me. Data migrations are a bit like riding bareback on a rhino at the best of times, just get on with it and hold on for dear life. I did my best to stay out of it, and gave some suggestions to approach.

I feel like Gulliver in Lilliput. This cannot end well.

That said the pimp rang me and said they love me to bits and want to clone me. Funnily enough they said this to me at my last gig before my 'episode'.

Time to lay it on the line I think.

[Cliphead]

Have you considered a career change?

[suityou01]

Have you considered a career change?

Now that sounds like you're making this out to be my fault. Why?

[Sands of Time]

Times was hard, the war chest gone and just recovering from a stress related illness I got this crummy little asp dev role. So I started and from the moment I got there I was told the development work was off-shored and I was the business analyst. So I started doing the BA bit, and suggested as timescales were short taking an agile approach. "You had us at burndown chart" came the response. So I tidied up and the off-shore team are well onto it, we are on plan and have some capacity to manage change. All ticking along.

Then I asked about config and release management? More shuffling of feet and murmuring. Then I get asked to look at the plan and give my feedback, which I did. Next think I know, at the team meeting I am announced as the new team leader

So I gets the PM to one side and says, oi pal, happy to take this new role on but it'll cost ya. He ok's it. So I get on with planning all the interdependances on the workstreams that have been missed, arrange meetings, chase people for stuff, help out where I can. Do this for about a few days.

Then the PM tells me I'm doing a good job, and outshining everyone including him. Alarm bells. I apologise and ask for a clearer definition of what team leaders do and what I have picked up by mistake. We go through my list of tasks, and he tells me who to pass them to, but then realises just how much I have picked up and realises the handover-ees are going to be mightily pissed off when they inherit this workload.

So I get demoted back to BA. I carry on doing my BA tulip, and tell people who to talk to as I'm no longer dealing with this stuff any more.

Then I get a PM saying "We're in room xx, come quick!" and I leg it in there and there's a programme manager giving my PM a sound kickin.

I sit down and they turn their guns on me. Where are we with this, and this and this and this etc etc. Like Neo out of the matrix I calmly stop all the bullets in mid air, and then return fire. This is with so and so, this is on hold, this is a blocker to this etc etc. The detail in my brain was pretty impressive for just two days as team leader.

The attack dog is silent for a moment, then says, "So it's under control. Fine". Then dismisses us.

Afterwards the PM asks me to stop wearing a suit and tie to work as he only wears an open neck shirt and a jumper. I have obliged.

Today he trudged around moaning, and I got hauled into a data migration meeting where their data architect was spouting loads of "blockers" that didn't sound like blockers at all to me. Data migrations are a bit like riding bareback on a rhino at the best of times, just get on with it and hold on for dear life. I did my best to stay out of it, and gave some suggestions to approach.

I feel like Gulliver in Lilliput. This cannot end well.

That said the pimp rang me and said they love me to bits and want to clone me. Funnily enough they said this to me at my last gig before my 'episode'.

Time to lay it on the line I think.

I like feeling myself up to his stories...


Tone

[MarillionFan]

Groundhog day

Dear Admin

I am beginning to feel quite short-changed with a number of posters on CUK as of late. Firstly a number of high profile flounces, which turn out not to be so. I talk of course about the SAS, Dimprawn & AtW series which were taken off air only to be replaced a few days later with new branding. ie. Retired moved to the country, divorced lost half my money, still a virgin.

This on top of the continuing lack of effort for series of 'F**K off seriously', 'Four cans of Fosters and I tulip myself behind a car' & The Scourer Saga, I am absolutely appalled that you have chosen for at least a fourth time to repeat the Suityou monologues. It's a disgrace!!!!

Put some effort into new programming.

I do not think this is a good use of my membership fees and demand a refund.

Yours

Disgusted of California.