Hospital visit

[EternalOptimist]

get an audit done on yer balls before you go in, number, size, weight etc. and write an L on one and an R on the other, in felt tip, just in case they get the wrong one. Oh and put your name down the side of your saus

never ever trust a surgeon, incompetent butchers the lot of them. blood thirsy useless knife weilding idiots.

good luck though, and dont worry

and if you dont make it, can I have your sig ?

[AtW]

I know you will find this hard to believe - but that might include YOU!

Actually, I am wrong, everyone loves you.....

I'll take my chances

[NotAllThere]

...

and if you dont make it, can I have your sig ?

Of course you can.

My nurses just turned up - quite disappointing. But the old guy I'm sharing the ward with has got a pretty young thing. I must ask him who his health insurer is.

[Halo Jones]

Hope your back to (relative) normal soon

[Sysman]

Just checked into the hospital for surgery tomorrow. Not bad. Free internet, with a good bandwidth. Reasonable menu, with a choice of wines.

It's a public ward, as I'm too tight to pay for a private room, so I'm having to share it with one other chap. Just need to find a way to stave off the boredom...

I had a public ward. Had to share with two then three.

After that stay I decided that sharing was a help in fending off the boredom. We had a selection of daily papers delivered and the lady with a selection of library books on a trolley dug out some English books for me.

Good luck under the knife!

[EternalOptimist]

Of course you can.

My nurses just turned up - quite disappointing. But the old guy I'm sharing the ward with has got a pretty young thing. I must ask him who his health insurer is.

I dont mean to scare you NAT, but I had this mate ,right.

He was in for a bit of treatment to the old waterworks, and the surgeon read his notes and was a bit suprised when he got to the end - ' incise around the base and surgically remove penis '
so he whipped it off.
Then the theatre nurse realised there was a second page to the notes, with just one word on it - 'wart'
So the bloodthirsty butcher retrieved the severed member from the bin , and sure enough there was a tiny genital wart on one side.

no word of a lie.

It's always the cover up that gets them though. always.

He asked the sister if they had any willy doners on the records - no
Any car crash victims -no
Anyone in cryo - no

But the sister did remember that they had a baby elephant on ice
'Great ', says the surgeon, 'lets give him an elephants willy'
'er.... its a baby female elephant'
'Whaat ' said the surgeon, 'he's bound to notice that he entered the theatre with a warty willy and left with an elephants twat'
'I was thinking of using the trunk doctor'
'brilliant, we can explain the colour, wrinkles etc as post operatic stress disorder. or something'
So they transplanted the baby elephants trunk on him and sent him home.

He confided in me one day that he had lost a lot of feeling in his willy, but that his missus was made up. The main problem, he said, is that every time I go past a bakery, it reaches out, grabs an iced bun, and shoves it up my @rse

[NotAllThere]

Nurses. With friends like that, who needs enemas?

[Old Greg]

Just checked into the hospital for surgery tomorrow. Not bad. Free internet, with a good bandwidth. Reasonable menu, with a choice of wines.

It's a public ward, as I'm too tight to pay for a private room, so I'm having to share it with one other chap. Just need to find a way to stave off the boredom...

Pot noodle and invoicing is the traditional method.

[EternalOptimist]

Nurses. With friends like that, who needs enemas?

laughter

the best medicine.

[TimberWolf]

... and write an L on one and an R on the other, in felt tip, just in case they get the wrong one.

Your left or theirs? Might be easier just to write "not this one"*

*as long as you can be sure the "not" won't get rubbed off or be hidden behind something.