going private . . .

[Arturo Bassick]

You mean you grew up without a family trust fund? My dear fellow, how DID you cope? Did you have nutritional deficiencies too?

You had to share your trust fund with your family?

[Mich the Tester]

You had to share your trust fund with your family?

Unfortunately yes, and still do. Take pity on me; I've just had a big bill for moat cleaning and I'm not a tory MP. Yet.

[quackhandle]

My nephews are now 17 and 15, their arsehole dad f**ked off when they were very young and has only just recently started paying any maintenance. So both went through the state school system, infants and junior had high OFSTEAD grades, but it was down the road anyway so they learned to walk to school in all weathers. They are attending same secondary school as the one I went to, but it is now a maths and technical college as well. But from day one, my sister installed the ethic of "learning does not stop at home".

The 17yr old is very bright, can play the guitar, drums and trumpet and is being courted by one of the Oxbridge colleges, whereas the 15yr old isn't that fussed, he isn't dumb far from it, but not that academic. Both had very same upbringing but both chalk and cheese when it comes to learning. My wife's niece and nephew had very same upbringing, but the niece went to uni and is now a teacher and her nephew does nothing all day and bums off the state. Go figure.

qh

[Zoiderman]

I think by the time your kids about 5/6 years old, they'll be what they're going to be. You can see in kids how they react to certain things, and that sort of shows what kind of people they are going to be. My eldest is very intelligent, despite being one of the years youngest (Late July birth), was at the top of her school in the SATs. She has to be pushed and doesn't really care about whether she learns or not, and would rather watch TV, or read a book of her choosing, than play piano, do hoemwork, etc. Middle child not as bright, academically, but is absolutely inthrall of everything she sees and touches, is curious about everything, and would rather be doing soemthing than watching TV. the third too young to say owt just now, but I think out of the two you can kind of understand, the less bright one, imo, will be more succesful.

A long post to say I think kids will have set their stall out early in life. I also believe private school will only 'seriously' benefit less bright children, and that bright kids will do well at any school.

Just my 5 pence

[DodgyAgent]

I think by the time your kids about 5/6 years old, they'll be what they're going to be. You can see in kids how they react to certain things, and that sort of shows what kind of people they are going to be. My eldest is very intelligent, despite being one of the years youngest (Late July birth), was at the top of her school in the SATs. She has to be pushed and doesn't really care about whether she learns or not, and would rather watch TV, or read a book of her choosing, than play piano, do hoemwork, etc. Middle child not as bright, academically, but is absolutely inthrall of everything she sees and touches, is curious about everything, and would rather be doing soemthing than watching TV. the third too young to say owt just now, but I think out of the two you can kind of understand, the less bright one, imo, will be more succesful.

A long post to say I think kids will have set their stall out early in life. I also believe private school will only 'seriously' benefit less bright children, and that bright kids will do well at any school.

Just my 5 pence

I am beginning to wonder if this was a thread enabling people to go on about how wonderful their kids are.

Can I just say to everyone "your kids may be of huge interest to you but they are of no interest to anyone else" I have brothers and sisters who constantly go on about their kids, I am too polite to tell them to stop it. I dont go on at all about mine and even if asked I will swiftly move to another subject.

[Zoiderman]

I am beginning to wonder if this was a thread enabling people to go on about how wonderful their kids are.

Can I just say to everyone "your kids may be of huge interest to you but they are of no interest to anyone else" I have brothers and sisters who constantly go on about their kids, I am too polite to tell them to stop it. I dont go on at all about mine and even if asked I will swiftly move to another subject.

It was more a reflection as it doesn't make tulip difference as by a certain age, they're going to be, more or less, on a pattern in life that private school isn't going to change.

Each to their own btw.

[DodgyAgent]

It was more a reflection as it doesn't make tulip difference as by a certain age, they're going to be, more or less, on a pattern in life that private school isn't going to change.

Each to their own btw.

Sorry Zoiderman, but I am tired of listening to friends and family going on about their kids. It is interesting that you seem to think that kids grow up according to nature rather than nurture.

[Zoiderman]

Sorry Zoiderman, but I am tired of listening to friends and family going on about their kids. It is interesting that you seem to think that kids grow up according to nature rather than nurture.

I never thought it would be like that DA, but that's the way it's turned out with my kids, and all of my friends kids. I think there are many things nuture can do, but genuinely think by the time they're of the age I said, that their path is pretty set; some will be leaders, and some will be followers. Some of this is nuture, of course, but most is nature, I am sure of it. Some of it is just the way it is; the second kid will in no way ever have the same amout of attention the first did, etc, but ostensibly, yes, that's what I have observed.

And fair play about your first comment, I know I have to reign in my commentary sometimes amongst friends, as you do want to tell people that they're special, and it is tiresome. Facebook is full of friends showing their kids off, and I am not immune to this madness...

[Freamon]

out of hours activities are left to volunteers.

Presumably you've never asked any of the teachers you've met whether they spend any time conducting out of hours activities for their pupils then?

[Freamon]

The 17yr old is very bright, can play the guitar, drums and trumpet and is being courted by one of the Oxbridge colleges, whereas the 15yr old isn't that fussed, he isn't dumb far from it, but not that academic. Both had very same upbringing but both chalk and cheese when it comes to learning. My wife's niece and nephew had very same upbringing, but the niece went to uni and is now a teacher and her nephew does nothing all day and bums off the state. Go figure.

Hardly surprising. Often if the eldest is a high achiever, the younger ones give up competing early on and settle for second best, bumming around, never succeeding in anything.

My younger sibling is a complete diptulip, for example.

SAS