Wife is away til Wednesday next week.

[Pondlife]

Firstly you should rent some films about Gladiators
Next, try and see a grown man naked.

HTH

[MarillionFan]

Clean the house until it's absolutely spoltless. Then do all those little DIY jobs that you keep meaning to get done. Do a grocery shop and get all of her favourite things. Then go shopping in town and buy her a lavish present and some beautiful flowers. She'll be delighted!

Is he having a laff? IS HE HAVING A LAFF?

[Old Greg]

Is he having a laff? IS HE HAVING A LAFF?

A strong marriage is built on the twin foundation stones of love and respect. The actions I described would be both loving and respectful.

Perhaps it is time for you to consider growing up.

[MarillionFan]

A strong marriage is built on the twin foundation stones of love and respect. The actions I described would be both loving and respectful.

Perhaps it is time for you to consider growing up.

Kiss my chuddies.

[Zippy]

I would lick the chutney spoon and put it back.
Then bleed the radiators.

Scraggie has been here a while so I'd guess this has already been done.

[Old Greg]

Kiss my chuddies.

Chuddies

Effeminate underwear, briefs (usually) with no "Y-fronts", jocks, panties, knickers. Origin of word - Punjabi (India/Pakistan). Popularised in British English by usage in BBC comedy series "Goodness Gracious Me".

So basically, manties. You are full of surprises. I must, however, decline.