Poisoned chalice project

[vetran]

According to The Guardian, that happened last year.

and you believe that lefty Rag over the Torygraph

I better check what the Wail says........ yes her house is worth 31M Yen.
Her Pekingese is an immigrant and she probably hates traffic wardens.

Heaven forfend if the Graunaid is right then when did Suity go to Japan?

[doodab]

According to The Guardian, that happened last year.

Lacking long-term shared goals, many are turning to what she terms "Pot Noodle love"

If only she knew...

[No2politics]

a) I always try to have a face to face with the stakeholders, find out what they want from the project.
Ask them to attend the meeting as we want to discuss what might need to be dropped from the project if it can't all be completed.

b) See a.
Always tell them there are 3 main things in projects, Quality, Cheep and Speed. Pick two.

I have used b before. Another personal favourite.

"What you are asking for is a miracle. And miracles cost money"

[doodab]

I have used b before. Another personal favourite.

"What you are asking for is a miracle. And miracles cost money"

"I'm a genius, not a miracle worker"

From Escape to Victory, a vastly underrated film.

[No2politics]

"I'm a genius, not a miracle worker"

From Escape to Victory, a vastly underrated film.

Great film!

[MarillionFan]

Actually do as MF says. In less than 3 weeks I look to successfully deliver the most fookin poisonous chalice project of my entire career to over 1000 users. 11 trips to the US, over 130 days in tulip hotels, stupidly long days (again 18 hours today) , more politics than a US debt default and more CYA than a Miley Cyrus video on Iranian TV. If this doesn't fook up in the last 21 days at the last hurdle then I have just pulled off the pinnacle of my entire IT career. Otherwise feel free to give me a good CUK kicking. (Or do if I pull it off as well :-) )

The fooker went live. An entire team of people worldwide to deal with the fall out of this major change if we'd got something wrong.

My team flown to the corners of the world.

Deployment was two hours quicker than expected.

Tested until late Saturday morning, picked up no bloody problems.

Monday morning, worldwide training took place, (not run by me as we have a 'communications' expert). Numerous questions, I was on the panel & answered them all. Tuesday, a few minor issues but no showstoppers. In fact, the whole thing went so smoothly my entire team & the development team are left scratching our heads, while a number of 'other' people jumped on the bandwagon at the last second to take the glory as they'd done the comms & training. Because there were no problems / nothing to recover from it's like a damp squib. It's like Y2K all over again.

I've never felt so fookin deflated in my life.

[suityou01]

You did well. Tikabooson.

[MarillionFan]

You did well. Tikabooson.

I'm going to have a couple of beers and then pick on a small dutchman in a pub.

[suityou01]

I'm going to have a couple of beers and then pick on a small dutchman in a pub.

Standard.

[mudskipper]

Sounds like a success

But yep, know what you mean, if it all looks too easy no-one appreciates how damned hard it was!