Crap Week (Possible Bedwetting Thread)

[MaryPoppins]

WSYS

And did it have anything to do with Baby Oil, Frankfurters, and a whoopee cushion?

I do have each of those three things in my house right now. How strange.

[shaunbhoy]

I do have each of those three things in my house right now. How strange.

Frankly brilliant indeed!!!

[suityou01]

It's embarrassing even typing this crap.

I had a conversation - IN A DIFFERENT ROOM - with another member of the team. It was a slightly...terse conversation to say the least.

Nutjob claims to have 'overheard' the conversation, and is claiming I said certain things; none of which I did.

Rather than tell her to eff off and get a life - HR have taken this further. Turns out she has form for this kind of thing, and I'm next on her list.

She doesn't like me because I am, frankly, brilliant.

I was on a contract once and there was this female project manager. Uber cow. Totally barking. She was a "go getting type" that would lunch with the big bosses flashing her tits and batting her eyelashes, then come back to work stinking of booze and throwing her weight around.

I caught the full force of her one day. We fell out to say the least when I stood up for myself. A whole raft of developers saw what happened and felt quite sorry for me. We comiserated in the pub after work.

I found out months later, after I left, that she had form for this kind of thing, and bullied one of the developers at ClientCo in a previous role at another company. Word got round and she got put on report and then eventually tulipcanned for being a nasty toady slimy bulling piece of crap.

Missy will get hers and it sounds like she is known for it. Rise above MP. Don't keep em dangling too long.

[MaryPoppins]

Missy will get hers and it sounds like she is known for it. Rise above MP. Don't keep em dangling too long.

She's rapidly losing the small amount of credibility afforded her - which was generally only down to her nice nails and boobs anyway.

[sasguru]

. We fell out to say the least when I stood up for myself.:

Forgot to add you to my fantasy poll

[DaveB]

I do have each of those three things in my house right now. How strange.

This is you we are talking about, it would be strange if you didn't

[MaryPoppins]

This is you we are talking about, it would be strange if you didn't

Well, quite. I need to be prepared at all times.

[Clippy]

Forgot to add you to my fantasy poll

B0llocks - didn't notice that.

I want my vote back.

[MarillionFan]

Oh Mary, Mary, Mary. (shakes head)

Oh Mary, Mary, Mary (shakes head a bit
more)

Now I like HR and they like me. Over the years I've been into HR from complaining permies on about 10 occassions now. Alledgedly some people don't like being told to feck off. Had some arse actually ask for
his complaint to be taken down on the minutes of a meeting last month. In my case it's a symptom of saying it straight. So I'll do it again now.

Sounds like your letting your emotions get in the way. Also
sounds like you've been there to
long and you're beginning to think like a permie. The trick in
all of these situations is to be

A) Fireproof. Never fook up and if you do either put your hand up, fix it and tell nobody or wander off whistling.

B) Big balled. If you've got balls to own up you can
also use them to stitch someone up or brazen out a situation

c) Cover the bases. Ensure you're tulip hot at what u do
and people know what you do. Manage up and higher so you always have good allies.

D) Never get drawn into botching about colleages you will always become unstuck. Do the opposite and be super positive and helpful.

Do not get drawn into the HR, she said, she did. Just go with it, be positive, use a-d. 'Oh I
am surprised I've alway been positive and helpful to X. I do not understand how this has come
about. I had offered them some help
on X but they seemed to think I was implying Y when all I wanted was to help'. And be super duper lovey dovey positive to HR.

Then after all the gritting of teeth and being
positive you can come back
on here and be nasty to Suity to make you feel better.

Do not quit for a cretin.

[MarillionFan]

Once got called into the HR office for threatening to throw a colleague out of a window.

'Did you threaten to throw him out of the window?'
'Well yes. ' says I. 'But as we were on the ground
floor it wasn't much of a threat was it'

We all laughed.

I got a verbal warning. :-(