Pains in my ******* kidneys!!!

[eek]

I'll give that a shot.

What about black coffee, without sugar?

Also skip the caffine.

[shaunbhoy]

As above. Sounds like Kidney Stones. Never had them thankfully but a mate of mine did and they eventually dispersed on their own. But best to see a Quack anyway.

HTH

[rd409]

I'll give that a shot.

What about black coffee, without sugar?

coffee can be okay, if once a day. Try tea instead. Green tea is the best for detox.

[Old Greg]

This message is hidden because Churchill is on your ignore list.

Have a look at: Welcome to Map of Medicine for NHS Evidence, including the 'Consider differential diagnoses' node.

[Churchill]

Have you recently

a) Being shagging any dodgy Russian hookers in seedy Irish Brothels
b) Been sticking anything you shouldn't down your japs eyes
c) Drinking a bottle of spirits a night
d) Been on any CUK nights out in Manchester wake up the next day in bed with a smiling EO and no recollection of the night before

If we can get answers to these questions we can start to narrow it down for you big fella.

a - nope
b - nope
c - nope
d - CUK night out, yes. Waking up with EO, nope.

[ilovehr]

I passed a kidney stone last year - I feel your pain!

The initial symptoms were exactly as the OP described. The pain was bloody excrutiating and had me flat on my back or curled up in the foetal position many times over the course of a few days. Started off as a dull ache in my lower back to begin with and became sharp and stabbing at times.

Fortunately mine was only a little one (about the size of a grain of rice) and was an oxalate stone so it was pretty smooth and easy to pass. I now have to avoid foods high in oxalates, such as rhubarb and spinach.

Chances are I'll get another one at some point but at least next time I'll be ready and know what to expect.

I kept mine as a souvenir - I had to pee through a small sieve to catch it......

[Churchill]

I drink lots of water and my urine still looks like pea(sometimes brown lentil) soup!

As for the beer, very rarely and nowhere near the quantity I used to be capable of.

[Churchill]

I think you'd be wise to consult someone who knows wtf they're talking about.

Is that your considered opinion or just the ramblings of a tired, old lizard?

[MarillionFan]

I think you'd be wise to consult someone who knows wtf they're talking about.

But AtW is in Corfu.

I studied to be a doctor in Arkansas before moving to the UK. This sounds terminable.

I suppose we'd better start looking for a new smiley for you.

[BoredBloke]

If you don't see a doctor and you break one of your kidneys you'll be ok as you can live perfectly well on 1. My wife is running on 1 but actually has 3 in her!