A very sad tale

[Moose423956]

How can you be?

I know my daughter....

[Liamxtype]

Sorry to hear this Moose, we have a similar type of situation with our almost 16 yo daughter, 7 weeks into what seems to be a very happy relationship and suddenly she has gone extra moody and won't talk about him, He's on Facebook saying how depressed he is, yet they're still going out together. I can't remember romance being that difficult when I was a lad!! Hope it all works out for your littlegirl.

[doodab]

I know my daughter....

Of course you do, but in this matter above all else there is every chance she will go out of her way to avoid you finding out.

No teenage boy, however nice, is going to go out with a girl for 18 months without expending significant effort on finding out what all the fuss is about, and madly in love teenage girls aren't any less curious.

I would say there is a strong chance that his mother is reacting in the way she has because she has caught them at it under her roof. It is, IMO, the most probable explanation.

[fullyautomatix]

How can you be?

He has a hidden camera, thats how.

[doodab]

He has a hidden camera, thats how.

Hidden up her chuff?

That's some plan B.

[Sysman]

There's a bit in this leaflet about emotional abuse, which is what I'm referring to. It's not always just about physical abuse.

The Emotional Abuse and Financial Abuse sections (right hand column, page 1) of that leaflet are spot on.

Hmmm sounds like he's been caught doing something very bad (or bragging about it on facebook),

Or his mother is a religious nut.

Hmm. Moose did mention "ex-wife". Perhaps the lad's mother sees Moose's daughter as coming from a broken home.

This is all too reminiscent of the crap I got from my parents. They wanted to know everything about any girl I spoke to, family background, educational prospects, the lot. They actively tried to break up my brother's relationship with a smashing girl who wasn't academic enough for them. Fortunately he had the bottle to ignore them, but it wasn't easy, and he's have been happily married to the smashing girl for years.

I feel sorry for the lad here. Hopefully he'll manage to come out of it undamaged, but this is the sort of stuff that can lead to mental problems in later life. Meanwhile he might wreck his academic chances by escaping the parental home (I've seen this happen).

[Mason Boyne]

God save us from interfering Mothers! God bless 'em

[SizeZero]

They actively tried to break up my brother's relationship with a smashing girl who wasn't academic enough for them.

There are a lot of these people out there: my SIL is one - has tried to break up our marriage, her other sister's relationship (succeeded) and her next relationship/engagement (sister had enough, and moved to the other end of country) and also her mother's two relationships since she split with her ex-husband/their father 20 years ago. Bitter people - you can't be their social worker, and so it's best to avoid them. When your girl has calmed down and can see the bigger picture, she will look back on this as a lucky escape from a hellish family.

You already mentioned you were happy she'd found a nice lad for her first romance - but at 16 it was never, realistically, going to be the guy she grew old with. It was always going to end in tears (like the next teenage romance, and the one after, etc) If it was meant to be, they'll find each other again, once he's at (or after) University. Leave her with that hope, while expecting boyfriend number 2 by this time next year. Young hearts heal fast.

[Sysman]

There are a lot of these people out there: my SIL is one - has tried to break up our marriage, her other sister's relationship (succeeded) and her next relationship/engagement (sister had enough, and moved to the other end of country) and also her mother's two relationships since she split with her ex-husband/their father 20 years ago. Bitter people - you can't be their social worker, and so it's best to avoid them.

All too true.

When your girl has calmed down and can see the bigger picture, she will look back on this as a lucky escape from a hellish family.

Woah! Slow down a minute. It's not my daughter, but Moose's daughter.

But yes, it could be a lucky escape from a hellish family. Clearly the father can't control the mother either.

You already mentioned you were happy she'd found a nice lad for her first romance - but at 16 it was never, realistically, going to be the guy she grew old with. It was always going to end in tears (like the next teenage romance, and the one after, etc) If it was meant to be, they'll find each other again, once he's at (or after) University. Leave her with that hope, while expecting boyfriend number 2 by this time next year. Young hearts heal fast.

I can agree with that. My parents' mistake* was assuming that if I got remotely friendly with a girl then she was the one I would marry. I suspect the mother in question might be the same.

* if only they had encouraged me to go through as many birds girlfriends as possible, I might have actually had the self confidence to find one who wasn't screwed up herself.

[Old Greg]

Why don't you have a quiet pint with his Dad and see if you can get to the bottom of it all?