Bankruptcy

[cailin maith]

That's part of the problem, for sure. It's very much the case that our finances are separate, we don't have a joint account or anything like that and I've no real idea what the situation is with her flats.

You don't need to have a joint account to be able sort joint finances. You need to find out.

[MaryPoppins]

I actually look like a fish, so I find that quite insulting.

Truth hurts baby.

[cailin maith]

Hmm, I'm not sure it's about tightening the belt so much as one income not being able to fund two homes/pay off debts/provide savings?

I'm very happy that you're using 'fish face'

I think it suits him

True - I guess though if she has other income she needs to be contributing too.

[doodab]

The crux of the matter is you need (both of you) to live within your means in either UK or Germany. Loads of people have offered good advice but I don't think you are interested in tightening your belt. You just want a quick fix. Nothing wrong with that but it's unlikely to happen

I agree. Totally. The difference is that I think the way to do this is to move to Germany, in which case we won't really need to tighten our belts very much at all, in fact we would be quite well off, and she thinks the answer is to not move to Germany, which I'm open to, but as far as I can see unless I get lucky with the next contract, which seems pretty unlikely given what I have seen in the last three years (and I have been looking because I know that if I could get my current rate in the UK we would be better off), the consequences of taking that path are going to be at best several years of struggling and at worse going under.

Then she says things like "well, we can get housing benefit" at which point I have to point out she will need to sell her flats for us to qualify and she get's in a huff because she thinks I'm "treating her like an idiot". Well of course I am, because she's being a ******* idiot!

Anyway, I'm bored of this too, I know what I need to do and thanks to the link in reply #4 I've learnt enough about bankruptcy to know I want to avoid it like the plague.

[doodab]

Yeah, what about me, I've go no income, let alone £100s per day contract work plus rental income from flats. If worst comes to the worst doodab can get a tent and pitch next to me and we can take it in turns guarding the tents while the other goes looking for food thrown out by the supermarkets. Boomed.

I've actually got a tent. And a whizzy little gas stove with 2 rings and a grill. And a nifty little lantern with a remote control to switch it on and off, although it does attract a lot of winged insects.

[ThomasSoerensen]

Could you find another gig to do in the evenings/weekends remote?

Just to increase the inflow of money.

It might be hard work but you are most likely not being too productive in the evenings right now and you are not with your family anyway. So get billing in the off time.

Leisure time is for the rich.

[MrMark]

I agree. Totally. The difference is that I think the way to do this is to move to Germany, in which case we won't really need to tighten our belts very much at all, in fact we would be quite well off, and she thinks the answer is to not move to Germany, which I'm open to, but as far as I can see unless I get lucky with the next contract, which seems pretty unlikely given what I have seen in the last three years (and I have been looking because I know that if I could get my current rate in the UK we would be better off), the consequences of taking that path are going to be at best several years of struggling and at worse going under.

Then she says things like "well, we can get housing benefit" at which point I have to point out she will need to sell her flats for us to qualify and she get's in a huff because she thinks I'm "treating her like an idiot". Well of course I am, because she's being a ******* idiot!

Anyway, I'm bored of this too, I know what I need to do and thanks to the link in reply #4 I've learnt enough about bankruptcy to know I want to avoid it like the plague.

Maybe you can sell it to her in a different way? The nicer weather's coming - why not suggest she has a 3-4 month holiday in Germany this summer, and say if it doesn't work out, you'll come back with her to the UK? Make sure you fit in plenty of excursions etc so she does enjoy her stay (warning you'll need skype or connections to local expats so she doesn't get homesick).
On the other hand I'm reminded of the saying "you can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" (I'm not comparing anyone living to a horse mind!)

[TimberWolf]

I've actually got a tent. And a whizzy little gas stove with 2 rings and a grill. And a nifty little lantern with a remote control to switch it on and off, although it does attract a lot of winged insects.

Very posh, but would need guarding when away. There are plenty of campsites in Germany, why not go camping for spring, summer and autumn and save a bundle? A van might be better though.

[DimPrawn]

Or live in 'ole in't ground with tarpaulin over it. Luxury that is.

[doodab]

Could you find another gig to do in the evenings/weekends remote?

Just to increase the inflow of money.

It might be hard work but you are most likely not being too productive in the evenings right now and you are not with your family anyway. So get billing in the off time.

Leisure time is for the rich.

If I've got the time and I'm not knackered I generally try and squeeze a few extra hours in at work. Unfortunately I also have to take care of my own cooking, cleaning, washing and shopping etc which eats up a surprising amount of time and energy.

TBH I am currently trying to work a bit less hard as one also needs to look after oneself a bit lest one become unable to work, and a combination of billing over 460 days in 2 years (those are 8hr days BTW, so thats 490 of your 7.5hr days) and various other factors actually led to me having 2 weeks off due to stress earlier in the year. Which is kind of what precipitated this whole crisis as before that I was plodding along fairly happily. It's a lot easier to loose that money than it is to save it or earn it in your spare time.