Neighbours football...

[DimPrawn]

Just leave the f*kcing football in your sodding garden, stop faffing about something so trivial. Is this genuinely a concern in your life?

Why do people FAFF SO?

Calm down dear, it's just a Wilmsloooow sockie post.

[mudskipper]

Is that next door to Wilmslow?

[amcdonald]

Why do the yanks have an obsession with donkeys ?

[Wilmslow]

Sorted.

Thought that I would not begrudge them of not having the football, so decided to throw it back over the fence at 5:30am on my way out of the house, so they would have the pleasure of having it all day.

The loud clanging sound of the ball hitting the tin garage door was rather satisfying, it has to be said

[Moscow Mule]

Strip to the waist and paint your torso blue. Take the biggest kitchen knife you have an go out into the back garden shouting "where are you? Where are you?" Then grab the football and stab it repeatedly until you break down in a snotty, blue heap.

[Pondlife]

He stabbed it repeatedly with a kitchen knife, Jumped up and down on it screaming "I HATE you!", microwaved it on full power, jumped up and down on it a few more times then finally threw it out of his car window wrapped in a sack on his daily commute....... He neighbours are mad you know!

Bet their cat keeps a wide berth n' all.

[MarillionFan]

Chucked it back over, hence they keep lobbing it back. There is a huge garden, but they seem to want to make as much noise as possible at my end, so it seems!

Slash it with a carving knife and throw it back over. They'll put 2 and 2 together soon enough.

[davemcuk]

Spend some time on this.
Go purchase a cheap and nasty plastic ball, about the same size as their ball.
Then find a slightly smaller one.
Then an even smaller one.
Then an even smaller one.
Then a tiny bean-sack type ball.
Then a plastic marble.

Next time you are gifted the ball, return the cheap and nasty one.
When they gift you the cheap and nasty one back, return the slightly smaller one.
When they gift you the even smaller one back, return the even smaller(2) one.
ect..

Nothing like diminishing returns.

[2BIT]

Spend some time on this.
Go purchase a cheap and nasty plastic ball, about the same size as their ball.
Then find a slightly smaller one.
Then an even smaller one.
Then an even smaller one.
Then a tiny bean-sack type ball.
Then a plastic marble.

Next time you are gifted the ball, return the cheap and nasty one.
When they gift you the cheap and nasty one back, return the slightly smaller one.
When they gift you the even smaller one back, return the even smaller(2) one.
ect..

Nothing like diminishing returns.

or paint a bowling ball in the same colour and leave it in the middle of their playing area, hopefully one of them will do a full run up and boot it

or just keep it deny ever seeing ita

I have a similar problem with noisy neighbours, they shake my block of flats but slamming their front door so hard about 10-20 times a day. They are young, don't even own the place and ignore me when I ask them to stop slamming the door - so I know how you feel when it comes to neighbours - i could effing kill mine at times

[StopTheEarthIwantToGetOff]

I can picture the entire dramatic episode right now!

Wilmslows Mumsies House: The telephone rings with an ominous, yet petulant tone.
Wilmslows Mumsey:Yeeeeesssss!
Wilmslow:Mummy, mummmy! They're doing it again!
Wilmslows Mummy:What are those fiends doing now my little buttercup?
Wilmslow:Well.. <sniffles> I was minding my own business, you know, just organising my collection of betterware containers. When all of a sudden.... a football fell in my garden!
Wilmslows Mummy:Really? Did this spherical portent of doom cause any damage or injure anyone?
Wilmslow:...Well no not really. Oh wait it did flatten some grass on my lawn! My cctv caught the whole incident in grainy colour!
Wilmslows Mummy:<disconnects call>
Wilmslow:Mummy? Mummy? Are you there? Hello? Bugger I'll post this crap on Contractor UK and get back to my betterware collection.

Is that how it all went down?