Bacon Sandwich

[TykeMerc]

I live in an area with really soft water, 1 min in boiling water with a decent stir makes nice strong tea. I agree with only a spot of milk.

I agree the Dutch can't make tea, but weirdly the Portuguese can.

[RichardCranium]

That's not a proper bacon buttie; they went & toasted it

Quite.

You don't toast yours??!!

Normal people don't.

That toast looks horrible though. Needs to be Warbies Toastie bread.

Warburton's soya bread? Jeez. It should be a nice white seeded bloomer.

I'm rather partial to getting a good white bread and cutting the slices doorstep style before smearing with butter and strong mustard and then chucking in the grilled bacon slices.

MUSTARD? ON BACON?

No wonder you've been thrown out of the UK.

But then again, am I right in thinking you are married to A Real Woman? Of the class known as 'Not To Be Argued With'? If so, I understand your desire for passionate distraction. Just.

If there's an egg involved I would tend to toast however; to provide a more supportive environment for the bacon and egg.

A properly constructed fried egg butty does not need to be toasted. Nor does it benefit from it.

I'm getting better at making fried eggs though, they need to be runny but not snotty.

You can't fry eggs?

I could make a full fried breakfast by the time I was 8.

Did you not have a mother?

Red sauce on bacon sarnie, brown sauce on sausage. Deffo not on toast. I thought this was the unwritten rule ?

Unwritten? Wrong. It is a Written Law and As God Intended.

What about on a bacon and sausage butty?

Breakfast sarnie. Add any dressing as required. Or stay undressed and eat it in the bath.

As long as the toast is cold, that's Ok. You knows the rules!

Cold toast for a breakfast sarnie? Are you a lonely, single woman with cats?

Not runny eggs though, noooooooo.

White cooked. Egg runny. It is The Law.

I find it hard to credit that anyone over the age of 10 can't fry an egg properly, the white should be firm and the yolk runny. That applies even in a bacon and egg butty.

WTMS.

Top tip; stir a little wasabi paste into your mustard.

Mich, don't post when you're on the drugs. OK?

Well, give me your top egg frying tips.

I shall, before this post is done.

I can poach them, boil them, and I make a divine scrambled if I do say so myself. Fried? I'm terrible. My fried eggs always come out flat, crispy, and part exploded.

You have the oil / fat too hot.

That would be red sauce. I know some people that don't butter the bread !!!

For egg or bacon butties, if there is any risk of dryness to the bread, I have one slice buttered and the other ketchuped.

Me - I don't butter the bread. Or if I do, it'll only be one side.

Your mother is forgiven.

fry your eggs in a bit of olive oil, salt and pepper. hot pan.

5X, I wouldn't argue with you because I am frightened of you. But you are WRONG. Olive oil has a stronger flavour than the eggs; use lard or sunflower oil. Neither the salt nor the pepper will dissolve in the oil and so are wasted. The salt would damage a non-stick frying pan. Do not use a hot pan; it makes the protein in the white go brown before the yolk is cooked.

I think I have my heat too high actually.

Ditto when you are cooking eggs.

Frying an egg is dead easy when a man tells you how.

ftfy

Pan, ordinary cooking oil (or fat of your choice)

A tasteless oil such as sunflower or yummy fat like lard.

to a couple of mm depth max.

Wrong. To a depth of 1cm minimum to cook the white. A deep fat fryer is OK too; the fat cannot be too deep for fried eggs.

Pan on medium heat for 30-45 secs so there's some heat in the oil, but it's not smoking. If the pan is hot to start then all you wind up with is an egg with a burnt lacy surface that you could use as a frisbee or cut your lip on. Plus you won't have time to cook the white properly before the bottom has turned to plastic.

Without going into lots of organic chemistry, WTMS.

Break egg into the pan, from fairly close to the pan bottom so it's not falling far.

Feck it, break it into a small mug, then tip it into the fat. That way rancid eggs are spotted, and you get no shell in the pan.

Flip fat onto the top surface to encourage the white on the top to cook.

So easy to say, so hard to explain. Use a large pan and using a fish slice, flick the hot fat over the egg to cook the top.

Optionally you can flip the whole egg, but it will need no more than 10 seconds upside down.

If you want a horrible hard yolk.

The whole process takes about a minute, cooked white, runny yolk.

... once you are perfect. Do it in cool oil = up to 8 minutes and good egg. Do it in hot oil = 1 minute and fecked egg.

It's quite possible to do the same with no fat in a good non stick pan, but that takes a bit more practice.

It is quite possible to do a blow job and enjoy it. But that is fantasy too.

Incidentally I don't usually butter the bread, especially if bacon and egg butty so the yolk can sink into the bread

Especially when the egg is cooked in lard.

I don't like soggy food. Or food that looks normal but pops when you cut into it, splishing yellow goo everywhere.

When you make an egg butty, break the egg yolk once it is on the bread and spread it using the butter knife.

Solid yolk is a must in a Bacon and Egg Sarnie. Saves having to put what was a clean shirt in the wash

Sir, you are a clueless peasant. See above.

[MaryPoppins]

I won't quote that post RC, but I will grant you're right on most of those things. 'Cept the runny eggs and the blowjobs.

[DaveB]

Top tip.

If you stick a fried egg in your bacon sarnie or are just having an egg banjo ( runny yolk of course) eat it over another slice of bread, buttered or not according to preference, then fold that in half and eat.

[gingerjedi]

Beer can sand witch

Yeah man.

[GreenLabel]

If you want a horrible hard yolk.

Yep. I'm definitely not a fan of the flipped egg.

[CheeseSlice]

Yep. I'm definitely not a fan of the flipped egg.

I've done this a few times recently because I CBA flicking the hot fat over the yolk (most of it going all over the hob or my clothes). If you do it quickly for 3-4 seconds and serve up straight away it'll be fine with plenty of runnyness.

[Halo Jones]

So many ways / beliefs to cooking an egg; as ever with any food “cook to taste”

[GreenLabel]

I won't quote that post RC, but I will grant you're right on most of those things. 'Cept the runny eggs and the blowjobs.

Were it not for this hangover I'm sure I'd have got at least a dozen jokes out of this one, but right now I've got nuthin'.

[MaryPoppins]

Were it not for this hangover I'm sure I'd have got at least a dozen jokes out of this one, but right now I've got nuthin'.

I'm disappointed in you.