Social workers - a rant

[d000hg]

The GF's wage has trebled in 7 years, that is not tabloid sensationalism.

Indeed it's not. My point is that like a tabloid, you didn't mention that part, which is the important bit.

[minestrone]

Indeed it's not. My point is that like a tabloid, you didn't mention that part, which is the important bit.

A tabloid is a size of paper. Please try and use words correctly before coming to me with a tulipe argument.

[d000hg]

How predictable. Resort to inane hair-splitting once you run out of real arguments. I note you didn't object to using the word "tabloid" when you had a point to make yourself.

I can see your problem though. An argument based on logic and reason is a "tulip argument" because it's one you never stand a chance of winning.

[mudskipper]

Sorry to hear SY - IMO your families behaviour is shocking.

I would suggest that over the Xmas Turkey and Pud you ask what plans Mother dearest has put in place for her declining years. I'd also be openly valuing her possessions with a "I could get a couple of quid for that treasured item on ebay"

I guess I just don't understand some people.

Sorry to hear things aren't going well SY.

However...

Maybe there's another side to the story.
I remember you posting before when grandad was in hospital, and also then saying about your mother's lack of interest.
But you also said that grandad had lived with her for years - presumably she was caring for him full time? It's difficult to reconcile that with the selfish person you think she is.
Obviously you know your family and we don't, but different people react differently to stressful situations. Your mum may be at the end of her tether - looking after an elderly relative is incredibly difficult, and, if she wasn't getting support it can be very isolating. She may be genuinely feeling unable to cope and panicking at the prospect of him coming back. Not having a go at you here, but were you there to help? Do you know what she went through on a day to day basis? Talk to her - she may just be feeling completely out of her depth and reacting by head in sand. Listen to what she says, and see if you can work something out between you. Good luck - hope things work out.

[minestrone]

How predictable. Resort to inane hair-splitting once you run out of real arguments. I note you didn't object to using the word "tabloid" when you had a point to make yourself.

I can see your problem though. An argument based on logic and reason is a "tulip argument" because it's one you never stand a chance of winning.

Says the man that thinks Heaven and Earth were created in 7 days.

When you get a grasp of English and logic over your religious dogma come back and then we can tangle.

[jmo21]

Suity, I don't have much advice as I've never had to deal with anything like it, but many of the others have made some good points, so hopefully you will be able to sort something out

Best wishes to you and your grandfather (wife, and jnrs too) going through a stressful thing like this at this time of year.

Maybe citizens advice can advise about your mum cleaning out grandpa's account? I imagine it would be difficult to prove but maybe they can suggest something?

[suityou01]

Sorry to hear things aren't going well SY.

However...

Maybe there's another side to the story.
I remember you posting before when grandad was in hospital, and also then saying about your mother's lack of interest.
But you also said that grandad had lived with her for years - presumably she was caring for him full time? It's difficult to reconcile that with the selfish person you think she is.
Obviously you know your family and we don't, but different people react differently to stressful situations. Your mum may be at the end of her tether - looking after an elderly relative is incredibly difficult, and, if she wasn't getting support it can be very isolating. She may be genuinely feeling unable to cope and panicking at the prospect of him coming back. Not having a go at you here, but were you there to help? Do you know what she went through on a day to day basis? Talk to her - she may just be feeling completely out of her depth and reacting by head in sand. Listen to what she says, and see if you can work something out between you. Good luck - hope things work out.

He is in the home and says he loves the place.

After 6 hours of waiting on the ward for him to be discharged.

Sorry, but you are right. You aren't in on the picture. When he lived there (mum's) and was useful he was fine to have around. As soon as he needed care things went wrong. I recall one incident where they put a scalding hot teabag on his head "as a joke".

They have fleeced him, and I may have mentioned this already, when the question of supplementing his money came up it was very much chuck him in whatever care home, tough luck if he gets knocked about he's very old and probably won't be around much longer anyway.

The woman is quite literally beyond the pale. I have survived my 33 years on the planet without actually hating anyone, now not so sure.

Any when challenged on why she lifted his savings (5.5K) she was allegedly given permission and said she might as well have the money now as it's all coming to her in the will anyway.

I don't think I'll be seeing her again after I collect my grandfather's belongings tomorrow.

[mudskipper]

Good news - glad he's sorted and happy.

I always try to think the best of people - it's one of my worst faults.

[norrahe]

Family can often be the worst offenders especially when it comes to putting people into care.

Glad you've sorted stuff out.

[ASB]

Any when challenged on why she lifted his savings (5.5K) she was allegedly given permission and said she might as well have the money now as it's all coming to her in the will anyway.

I would suggest that mentioning that to the local authority may be useful. Subject to the various limits your grandfather would be expected to pay for his own care.

In brief my mother had a PoA on behalf of her mother some years ago for quite some time. She used it in much the same way as her mother had, in that she gave a little money to me, siblings, herself, my father. These were just the regular amounts of gifts her mother had made throughout her entire life. (birthday, christmas etc)

When she went into a care home the local authority requested the funds back (actually disregarded from her remaining assets). We thought this was a bit much - there was no abuse and an easy evidential pattern - legal advice was sought and the advice we received was there was no chance of defeating the authority.

So, dob your mother into social services and see what happens....