Opening a business bank account rant

[lilelvis2000]

Cheers, may take a wonder up the high street then.

I take it's not normal to be asked such stupid questions about the business then.

I wasn't asked any questions at all and my registered address is my home. The only issues I can recall I had was because I'd been in the UK less than three years and failed a credit check...even though I wasn't going to get a credit card or credit facility with the account. Someone told me it had something to do with going overdrawn and paying the fees...sheesh!. Managed to get that sorted out by pleading to the manager's good nature. I even managed to get a credit card without a personal guarantee ( who invented that bollocks) by asking for a low limit and (again) pleading to the manager's good nature. That was RBS btw, not so bad until they started charging me £10/mnth - service was good however.

[conned tractor]

Actually - if you're not going to be indebted to them in any way, and are simply going to be running money through the account and keeping it in credit, they will regard these as liabilities, not assets. It's a moot point, not in any way justifying their inept service.

I'm suprised by that. Agree with muppet service.

What they will have to do is run KYC (Know Your Customer) checks to make sure you're above board, a genuine business and not a money-laundering front. That might be part of the runaround they're giving you.

Money laundering, OK, but seemingly judging my knowledge of who I will sell to? I'm sure he mentioned "margin" in his questions, Que? WTF has that got to do with him? Also, he said they would have to see the lease, Ok it's a financial commitment, but it's not in any way theirs as I see it.

Did you make it clear from the outset you're not interested in any lines of credit? That this is just to process some invoices?

Yep, absolutely. Obviously didn't trust my accent.

Some high street banks don't have a clue about contracting business models, and will evaluate you in the same way they'd evaluate a grocers, a restaurant, or any other SME with significant overheads and a higher degree of risk.

It's plan B, which is product based. Crazy, eh? So there is more risk, however I can't see how the risk is propogated to them.

Contracting account is seperate as it is a completely different business and I will continue with my current contract in the short term until we have some more customers not that we technically have any customers at present since we can't invoice them.

Why don't you ask your accountant to set up a business account for you, to save your time and leverage the good relationship he/she may have with a bank? My accountant did this for me with Cater Allen and it was a pain-free process.

It shouldn't need this. I will try another bank.

[Sysman]

I also asked what other parts of the application process could possibly get in the way at a later date regarding information they needed....and the winker started talking about discussing our routes to market, where the income is generated, business plan stuff.....which I have but what the fook is it to do with some spotty faced oik with a shiney name badge with "commercial executive business manager" or somesuch tulipe on it. Do I have to explain the processes involved with the product to someone with two GCSEs and an a-level, I'm sure I would find this difficult. Can I charge them for this time on a consultancy basis?

I had the same in the mid-1990s when all I wanted to know was how much it would cost to set up and run accepting payments by credit and debit cards. I needed the info to write a business plan. Some jumped up early-twenties-lad in a three piece suit started lecturiing me about the dangers of software piracy.

I never did get an answer from him, so I asked some mates down the pub instead.

[OwlHoot]

Recently opened a new business account with Santander. Just a few hoops to jump through and all dealt with by one knowledgable advisor in a branch. Took around five working days to have the account ready for use.

Exactly, just open a business account with Cater Allen. It's as easy as falling off a log, and there's no minimum deposit (AFAIK).

[Clippy]

I can recommend HSBC for a quick turnaround and an absence of dumb-ass questions.

[Paddy]

I can recommend HSBC for a quick turnaround and an absence of dumb-ass questions.

Went to HSBC a month ago. New Ltd Co with shop. It took one hour to open and get account number. Two days later received cheque book, pay-in book bank card a company credit card.

[conned tractor]

Went to HSBC a month ago. New Ltd Co with shop. It took one hour to open and get account number. Two days later received cheque book, pay-in book bank card a company credit card.

Looks like they may be getting my business then.

Especially since the 'good on paper' premises turned out to be less than ideal and therefore I still have no commercial address. No wonder the price was so good.

[xoggoth]

Business plans, commercial premises just to open an account? Santander seconded. Wife opened one 3 months ago no probs at all. Basic details company etc.

[thunderlizard]

Another vote for HSBC. Formed a company in the morning and had an account set up before the end of the day.

[MarillionFan]

Sounds like you got a cretin.

Just go and open a business account. I've got 5. I've never had to 'prove commercial premises'. All of them are registered at home???