Going to the pub

[fullyautomatix]

One of the girls just came over and stood next to me on the quiz machine. Just won a tenner. The noise of the coins dropping made the lads stop playing pool again.

'Gad you're clever' the girl said, the smell of cigarettes strong on her breath. Noticed there was a hole in her stockings. 'oh fckin he'll, not again! They're tights anyway! She's gone into the loos to take them off'

The lads are looking. Laughing. At me? Gonna get another pint....

Was it SuitYou ?

[MarillionFan]

Now I know this is a wind up

Just lost a £20 prize on the slots. One of the twats barged his way over 'you press this mate' and pressed the nudge button.

FFS!

He's gone back to his mate. They're talking. I'm texting. They're looking.

Here we go then....

[original PM]

this link may help

YouTube - UK Martial Arts...I Wanna See Some Windmilling In!!

[Clippy]

If you decide to play pool, watch out for the puddle of pish.

[Zippy]

Just lost a £20 prize on the slots. One of the twats barged his way over 'you press this mate' and pressed the nudge button.

FFS!

He's gone back to his mate. They're talking. I'm texting. They're looking.

Here we go then....

I'll get an ambulance (and a mop)

[RichardCranium]

Didn't really think this thread through, did you, MF?

SY01 did a better job with the reality.

Still, I'm enjoying my second Shepherd Neame Autumn Blaze.

Have you actually been in a real pub?

[MarillionFan]

Didn't really think this thread through, did you, MF?

SY01 did a better job with the reality.

Still, I'm enjoying my second Shepherd Neame Autumn Blaze.

Have you actually been in a real pub?

Yep.

Back from the pub. All true. The lads came over, all menacing & apologised for hitting the nudge button. Offered to buy me a pint, but I was driving and had to say 'no'. I'll put one behind the bar! Plus they wanted to know if the iPhone was any good. It's all a ruse of course and they really wanted to gut me with blunt coathangers.

I won't be going back. I'm too scared. But rest assured I will bleat on about it on CUK.

Psssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Pondlife]

Just got back from the pub. Funny as ****.

There was this old geezer there who managed to get himself blotto on two and a half pints of fosters. He went to get a tenner out of the link machine in the corner and started shouting "I've won, I've won". The silly old fool then put Kung-foo fighting on the juke box and started doing his best Ralph Machio impression screaming High-YA! like miss piggy. A couple of the girls were egging him on a bit unfairly IMHO. I mean the guy's clearly got issues. I usually give him a couple of quid when I see him about town.

[d000hg]

Just lost a £20 prize on the slots

Was that after she took her tights off?

[MarillionFan]

Was that after she took her tights off?

This is all a true story. I kid you not.

Actually she came back out. Complained about not shaving her legs, bemoaned about getting back for her kid and then ordered a pint!

I didn't realise Mary Poppins lived local to me