Issue with nosey permie

[RichardCranium]

Ooh, there's a bunch of you? Excellent!

Have a word with the others. Arrange it so that as from tomorrow, when he gets up and looks at someone's screen, everyone else gets up and stares at his screen for a few seconds, then sit down again, but without saying anything.

[RichardCranium]

When he comes over, shove a finger up your nose and have a rummage about.

[RichardCranium]

Alt-Tab to a Word session which has one sentence in a small font in the centre of the page:

If you can read this, fook off.

[RichardCranium]

There's always the passive-aggressive thing. Print this off and leave it on his desk.

Dear <name>.

For some time we have been discussing your annoying habit of looking at other people's screens as a way of looking down cleavages / at crotches. It is invading our space and causing us some concern.

We were unsure what to do so have also been discussing it online.

We held a poll on a forum and a group of strangers suggested we wait until dark and beat you up in the car park, then all provide alibis for one another.

But we decided you are too pathetic for that and instead we're going to do something more subtle.

Unless you pack it in, of course.

Get a life.

[RichardCranium]

Each of you have your camera phones at the ready on your desk. When he is leaning over your shoulder, pick it up and take a photo of him doing so.

When you have a few of these, each of you change your PC's desktop image to one of the others' photos.

Or, all of you change your screensaver to be a rolling slideshow of those photos.

[RichardCranium]

As he is leaning over, without stopping working (as if you didn't know he was there) quietly whisper: "I can smell you".

[cojak]

Ask if they'd like you to reposition your screen so he can see everything properly.

I usually find this works and the individual is a bit embarassed to be caught out.

WCMS

I did this with a knee-stroker on a plane once.

After the third touch I turned to him and said that there wasn't a lot of space on these planes, was there?

He went red, mumbled something and I didn't have a problem for the rest of the trip.

[RichardCranium]

Email me his email address and I'll send him this:

Dear Pervert.

You don't know me because I'm just a bloke on the Internet.

But I know all about you, and so does everyone else.

Stop invading your colleague's personal space and gawping at their screens. It is upsetting them and they are all talking about you behind your back.

If you stop, they'll forget all about it, I am sure.

This is in your interests as staring at another person's screen like that is in contravention of Section One of the Computer Misuse Act 1990.

Yours sincerely,

Richard Cranium Esq.

[suityou01]

WCMS

I did this with a knee-stroker on a plane once.

After the third touch I turned to him and said that there wasn't a lot of space on these planes, was there?

He went red, mumbled something and I didn't have a problem for the rest of the trip.

Very sorry about that

[Ravello]

Put a small webcam on top of your monitor facing where he stands.

Either:
- leave it recording permanently and use it to gather evidence;
- take a single picture with a date/time stamp each time he's there;
- have an app open which is permanently displaying the image and Alt-Tab to it when he is there so he can see himself watching. Tell him Sally in HR suggested you do that so she can watch him watching you.

<kandr>
But what if there isn't a Sally in HR? How would that work?

</kandr>