Ideas please

[d000hg]

How about a story about a man who, for no fault of his own, keeps ending up in vicious feuds with his neighbours. He's also socially dysfunctional and borderline Autistic, just saying things as they enter his head without any idea which are inappropriate.

Sort of like an autistic Frank Spencer.

[doodab]

Sort of like <insert preferred cuk username here>

FTFY

[MarillionFan]

How about a short story of friends of your wife who turn up at your house but decide to stay longer than expected for some goddamn reason!!!

Grrrrrrrrrr

[doodab]

How about a short story of friends of your wife who turn up at your house but decide to stay longer than expected for some goddamn reason!!!

Grrrrrrrrrr

Are they making you watch as well?

[TimberWolf]

How about a short story of friends of your wife who turn up at your house but decide to stay longer than expected for some goddamn reason!!!

Grrrrrrrrrr

put their keys on the table

[xoggoth]

Yeh. In my experience it's always ok for wives to invite male friends round but if you invite a female friend round they get all huffy, storm off upstairs and slam the door.

[shaunbhoy]

How about something along the lines of going on holiday with your in-laws in their pokey little caravan? The first night it starts raining, and your father-in-law suggests a game of Charades. Halfway through your feeble attempts to get them to spot "Inception", your mobile rings and it is Dennis Hopper telling you that if anyone opens the caravan doors/windows, the whole thing is rigged to explode. Shortly after this, your mother-in-law starts complaining about a queasy stomach, "Must have been those jellied eels.........thought they tasted a bit funny!" She then retires to the carsey and goes noisily about her ablutions, sounding like a runaway whoopee cushion. And just take it from there?...................

HTH

[xoggoth]

What a horrible thought.

[MarillionFan]

They turned up at the door uninvited.

Stinking of Iron Bru and heavy with an accent from the far North. 'Och! Good to see yeh cousin' the fat, cankled women brayed to the smirking lady at the door.

In the background a man grimaced...

[EternalOptimist]

Hung by your own Petard.

Chapter 1 - (outline)

A ship sinks in the Bermuda triangle, 20 suvivors struggle ahore on a deserted island. Luckily crates packed with food wash up on the beach.
The loud mouthed feminist, who is has made the mens life a misery during the voyage, sets up camp away from the rest, inviting other women to join her. They refuse.
The feminist is unable to open her crates easily, when she finally does, she is too weak to open the jars. She dies a horrible death.

Chapter 2 - (outline)

On a different island, a second group of survivors find no crates of food, but millions of fat goats ,chickens, deer and wild pigs.
The vegetarian dies a horrible death.

Chapter 3 - (Outline)

Whilst crossing the road, a devout religious type is hit by the number 28 bus.
Luckily, EO happens to be passing. 'Wow man, just let me hook up my blueberry to the orbiting satelite, connect to the server and get an emergency number. Then a vehicle powered by an internal combustion engine will whisk you to emergency where they will operate and fix you'

'No , I dont need all that SCIENCE. The lord will save me, pray with me'
He dies a horrible death.

Chapter 4 - etc etc