British TV Comedy

[SupremeSpod]

I don't remember any lines from Benny Hill. The humour was mostly visual, (and innuendo) wasn't it?

BENNY HILL

ERNIE ( THE FASTEST MILKMAN IN THE WEST)
11/12/1971 - 4 weeks at #1 - 17 weeks on chart

You could hear the hoof beats pound
As they raced across the ground
And the clatter of the wheels
As they spun round and round
And he galloped into Market Street
His badge upon his chest
His name was Ernie
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

Now Ernie loved a widow
A lady known as Sue
She lived all alone in Linley Lane
At number twenty two
They said she was too good for him
She was haughty, proud and chic
But Ernie got his cocoa there
Three times every week
They called him Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

She said she'd like to bathe in milk
He said alright sweetheart
And when he finished work one night
He loaded up the cart
He said you wanted pasturised
Coz pasturised is best
She says Ernie I'll be happy
If it comes up to me chest
And that tickled old Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

Now Ernie had a rival
An evil looking man
Called Two Ton Ted from Teddington
And he drove the bakers van
He tempted her with his treacle tarts
And his tasty wholemeal bread
And when she saw the size
Of his hot meat pies
It very near turned her head
She nearly swooned at his macaroon
And he said now if you treat me right
You'll have hot rolls evry morning
And crumpets every night
He knew once she'd sampled his layer cake
He'd have his wicked way
And all Ernie had to offer
Was a pint of milk a day
Poor Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

One lunchtime Ted saw Ernie's horse and cart outside her door
It drove him mad to find it was still there at half past four
And as he leaped down from of his van
Hot blood through his veins did course
And he went across to Ernie's cart
And he didnarf kick his horse
Who's name was Trigger (Trigger)
And he pulled the fastest milkcart in the west

Now Ernie rushed out into the street
His goldtop in his hand
He said if you want to marry susie
You'll fight for her like a man
Oh why don't we play cards for her
He sneeringly replied
And just to make it interesting
We'll have a shilling on the side
Now Ernie dragged him from his van
And beneath the blazing sun
They stood there face to face
And Ted went for his bun
But Ernie was to quick
Things didn't go the way ted planned
And a strawberry flavoured youghurt
Sent it spinning from his hand
Now Sue she ran between them
And tried to keep them apart
And Ernie pushed her aside
And a rock cake caught him underneath his heart
And he looked up in pained surprise
As the concrete hardened crust
Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye
And Ernie bit the dust
Poor Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

Ernie was only fifty-two, he didn't want to die
Now he's gone to make deliveries
In that milkround in the sky
Where the customers are angels
And ferocious dogs are banned
And a milkmans life is full of fun
In that fairy dairy land
But a woman's needs are many fold
And Sue she married Ted
But strange things happened on their wedding night
As they lay in their bed
Was that the trees a rustling
Or the hinges of the gate
Or Ernies ghostly goldtop a rattling in their crate
They won't forget Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

[DaveB]

Waaaaaaaaaaaaah, there's nothing on telly I like waaaaaaaaaah

Spaced,
Black Books,
Mongrels,
Mighty Boosh,
Ideal,
Mock The Week,
Argumental,
QI.....

And thats not counting the decent stuff on Radio ( The Now Show, Fags Mags and Bags, The Secret World etc ).

[EternalOptimist]

This guy did a cuk parody


They called him guru, and he drove the fastest dung cart in the west

[NotAllThere]

"The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb."

“Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.”

"Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.”

"Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy?"

I know the quotes, I didn't realise they we're Benny's. Excellent.

I watched Mitchell and Webb, Shooting Stars and Miranda on Wednesday night. I found all three enjoyable, although they are three starkly different types of comedy. I found the idea of the world being taken over by the Inebriati quite amusing.

[Moscow Mule]

I prefer panel shows to sketch shows or sitcoms.

Mock the Week springs to mind as a comedy show that has stand up comedians as it's main base and as a vehicle for launching comics into the main-stream.

[DaveB]

I think I'll be avoiding this one though :

Grandma's House
Sitcom written by, starring, and based on the life of Essex-raised Jewish comic Simon Amstell.

[administrator]

Been watching the IT Crowd with Mrs Admin recently. I have watched them all before and found them funny still the second time around. Mrs Admin has started calling me Moss though, much to her amusement

[OwlHoot]

Personally, I think he's upped his game recently.

"Game" being the operative word, probably.

But if so then who the heck is running this sockie? Nobody round here is that good - Even Craig Brown in Private Eye would have trouble sustaining groperboy's pompous rotarian windbag style (although in fairness some groper posts are quite interesting if one can be bothered to skim them).

Another reason some might think comedy has declined these days is that it's harder to shock people to just the right degree - i.e. not a lame yawn at one extreme or plain offensive at the other.

The essence of humour is mental conflicts and ambiguities or absurdities, which the punchline or developing plot suddenly resolves in the listeners' or the viewers' heads, and that latter sudden recognition is the "shock" I refer to.

Hence the reason jokes are usually less funny, or not at all, if you know the punchline.

[gingerjedi]

And the IT Crowd is much too close to reality to be funny.

Other than in a toe curling sort of way.

So true, see you at the 8+ club tonight zeity?

[xoggoth]

You are right. The missus got Sky about a year ago and now we have to flick through loads of channels to see there is nothing worth watching instead of four. Only comedies we do watch are repeats of Mash and the Likely Lads. That Old Guys thing looked promising, but once was enough.