My Train Journey This Morning

[Mich the Tester]

Nightmare trip home last evening.

Buggered off early to buy a lamp from Argos.

Only one in the shop, so no problems there.

Early enough to catch the 16:28 125.

Which got as far as B&Q on the other side of the Tawe bridge & stopped.

For 10 mins.

Then the nice man informed us that due to theft of signal cable, we were going back to Swansea again.

All got off.

Waited an hour & 3/4 for the promised bus, which never arrived.

Then got back on the train & went, very slowly, stopping at each & every signal, to Neath, which took 45 mins.

Got home at 19:30.

Fortunately, the lamp works ok.

Yay!

Seeing as Swansea to Neath is about 10 miles (correct me if I'm wrong), or 16 kms in foreignish, you travelled 16 km in 45 minutes; that's an average of 21.3km per hour.

Last winter, due to the complete hash the Dutch government made of splitting the rail and train companies, the fact that they threw away all the snowploughs (none of the new companies considered this their responsibility), the cheapo trains that can't handle the cold, and the idiot who opened the Ijssel bridge in a snowstorm and than couldn't close it again due to snow build up, I took 6 hours to travel the 105 kms from Amsterdam to my home. That is an average speed of 17.5 km per hour.

You have not broken my record yet; I challenge you to do so.

However, I don't give you much chance; although the rail and train companies held the government to ransome last winter and got a 15 billion euro hand out to invest in making the rail system and the trains winter ready, the news came out today that they've bought a whole new series of 'sprinters' which have no bogs and have not been tested in wintry conditions; I therefore expect more significant delays this winter.


Anyway, this morning's comparitively short journey from my urban lodgings to clientco went smoothly, and I was even delighted by a rather attractive young lady who asked politely if she might take my newspaper once I'd finished with it as she was carrying out a project on some 'women' theme in the newspaper. Other than that, no smells, a few irritating OAPs who stood around yapping on a busy platform getting in everyone's way, no urine in the carriage.

[Mich the Tester]

I always find that a plus, speaking personally.

The lack of vomit is another plus.

I see you too are taking a stoic approach to rail travel.

Today´s train was on time, lots of OAPs yapping about how to save money on this and how many vouchers they´d saved from Douwe Egberts coffee packets, a prat opposite me who refused to place his plastic briefcase on the luggage rack and instead stuck it in front of my legs, thereby limiting my legroom even more than usual. He said the case was too heavy for him to reach up to the luggage rack, so I offered to lift it for him, but again he refused to allow that. I find this frustrating as the stress fractures at the top of my tibia necessitate stretching out my leg from time to time to relieve pain.

However, no smells and no urine between the carriages; which was nice.

Anyway, this morning´s relative promptness (only 10 minutes delay in arrival) does not bode well for this afternoon. The Dutch railways have announced they expect huge delays this afternoon due to 'very autumnal conditions' and an expected sudden fall of the remaining leaves from the trees due to wind.

[Mich the Tester]

Ah yes.

The wrong kind of leaves.

Most unexpected for the time of year, what?

Ah no, they have stopped talking about 'leaves on the line' due to continual mocking by the travelling public, and now use the neutral term of 'herfstweer', which means 'autumnal weather'. You don't tell the truth when you can use weasel words.

Indeed, autumn has always appeared to me to be a regular and, within certain parameters, predictable phenomenon, but it still takes the railways bosses by surprise. On the news yesterday we were treated to the explanation that this year warm weather in september caused a late increase in foliage, which is now falling in greater amounts than ever before, and that the leaves are particularly swollen with moisture, leaving a layer of humus on the lines. I don't know why moist leaves are falling from trees; I was always under the impression that dry leaves fall, but I am not a botanist.

This explanation is, in technical terms, bollocks. The last 4 weeks every intercity train I have used has been delayed by 'sprinter trains', many of which have been delayed by slow moving freight trains.

[Bunk]

I heard an announcement on the platform today for a train which was delayed due to slippery rail conditions

[Scrag Meister]

My bus was late and had a slow driver this morning, so thought I had missed my train, luckily for me somebody kindly sacrificed themselves further up the line by getting hit by a train, meaning my train was delayed and I caught it.

Thank you whoever you were, really selfless.

[Sysman]

Shock! Horror!

My train home last night was 6 minutes late!

No explanation given.

[Sysman]

Train on time and fairly empty. I suspect a load of folks had booked the day off to recover from the Carnival kick-off bash yesterday.

Island looks complete. One digger in the middle of the river further downstream.

New all in one printer for the corridor outside being unpacked as I open up our office. I wonder if it will be any easier to operate than the last one, though I somehow doubt it.

[Mich the Tester]

On time, plenty of seating, no OAPs, no smells, no urine or vomit in the carriages.

No explanation for sudden, unexpected punctuality.

NB; I am not gloating at Zeity's misfortune as I am assuming my ease of travel this morning is a harbinger of doom for this evening's journey.

[Sysman]

Trundle train.

Carriage too hot, but too many passengers likely to complain if I open a window.

No diggers in sight.

Bus radio playing "Monday, Monday". Blow up doll in middle of roundabout with just a pair of Diesel knickers on.

[Mich the Tester]

Double decker intercity, no noisy OAPs, no vomit or smells and plenty of seats. Left on time. Did not arrive on time. A power cut near Utrecht caused 5 minutes delay, obviously outside of the responsibility of the railway companies. However, the network operator never misses an opportunity to disappoint passengers, and so used this chance to cause an extra 15 minute delay in the customary fashion, sending a 'sprinter' train out in front of the intercity after restarting all systems.

A powerful stench of urine on the steps of Utrecht station is causing considerable olfactory discombobulation among those travellers not yet accustomed to the aromatic delights of rail travel; actors standing outside the nextdoor theater on a cigarette break are complaining about the smell.