The SY01 agony aunt thread

[suityou01]

Does he also wet the bed?

Ahem, ex bedwetter thanks very much

[HairyArsedBloke]

Dear Agony Aunt,

As I type this my heart is raging. I am dizzy, light headed and I feel tingles all over. I am sweating and shaking. One moment I feel hot and the next I'm cold. I am filled with terror. I am having difficulty breathing; I just can't get enough air. I feel like I am about to die, am I going crazy?

Anxious,
HAB

[d000hg]

Dear Agony Aunt,

As I type this my heart is raging. I am dizzy, light headed and I feel tingles all over. I am sweating and shaking. One moment I feel hot and the next I'm cold. I am filled with terror. I am having difficulty breathing; I just can't get enough air. I feel like I am about to die, am I going crazy?

Anxious,
HAB

Asperger rating: 36 - Paranoid Schizophrenic rating: 44%

[MarillionFan]

Dear Agony Aunt

Thank you for your recent reply. I have taken your advice.

I have two questions.

1. I now suffer from blinding headaches what should I take?
2. Having taken your advice I notice that it still has not completely solved the problem. The poster in question used to also suffer from a massive bedwetting problem but this has now manifested itself in an underwear defacation response to the words cage, fight or Swiss Army. What washing powder do you recommend?

[suityou01]

Dear Agony Aunt,

As I type this my heart is raging. I am dizzy, light headed and I feel tingles all over. I am sweating and shaking. One moment I feel hot and the next I'm cold. I am filled with terror. I am having difficulty breathing; I just can't get enough air. I feel like I am about to die, am I going crazy?

Anxious,
HAB

Thanks for your problem HAB. The problem you are suffering from is fear of a labour landslide (or foll for short). This is quite natural and there are many many other sufferers out there. You are not alone

I suggest you drink four bottles of quality real ale, have some scratchings, and slam your head repeatedly in a door until the anxiety subsides. Then you will only have to worry about a blinding headache and which washing powder to use.

[suityou01]

Dear Agony Aunt

Thank you for your recent reply. I have taken your advice.

I have two questions.

1. I now suffer from blinding headaches what should I take?
2. Having taken your advice I notice that it still has not completely solved the problem. The poster in question used to also suffer from a massive bedwetting problem but this has now manifested itself in an underwear defacation response to the words cage, fight or Swiss Army. What washing powder do you recommend?

Typically posters with this complex also suffer with an adverse reaction to the words "ebay" and "fluffy bunnies" so it's best not to use these terms.

As for the blinding headaches, do you also have an unsightly build up of muscle in one forearm? There may be a pattern here. You may also suffer from poor sight. You may also find yourself randomly parking in handicapped spaces and shouting randomly at passers by. For the next bout of door slamming, try removing the burberry cap first for maximum benefit.

Also make sure the door used is solid wood, and not the thin aluminium type used in your house on wheels. Why not venture outside the caravan park and see if any home owners could lend you a hard wood door for this purpose.

Wishing you all the best.

SY01

[Zippy]

Thanks for your problem HAB. The problem you are suffering from is fear of a labour landslide (or foll for short). This is quite natural and there are many many other sufferers out there. You are not alone

I suggest you drink four bottles of quality real ale, have some scratchings, and slam your head repeatedly in a door until the anxiety subsides. Then you will only have to worry about a blinding headache and which washing powder to use.

Could I add something please? HAB - you may be in love in which case SY01's advice still applies.

[suityou01]

Could I add something please? HAB - you may be in love in which case SY01's advice still applies.

I just reverted to my text books and apparently there is a more hollistic solution which may help. For acute FOLL one should smear jam on ones eyeballs, tape your eyelids open and sit outside and wait for a vicious wasp attack.

Best of luck.

[HairyArsedBloke]

Dear Agony Aunt,

As I type this my heart is raging. I am dizzy, light headed and I feel tingles all over. I am sweating and shaking. One moment I feel hot and the next I'm cold. I am filled with terror. I am having difficulty breathing; I just can't get enough air. I feel like I am about to die, am I going crazy?

Anxious,
HAB

Thanks for your problem HAB. The problem you are suffering from is fear of a labour landslide (or foll for short). This is quite natural and there are many many other sufferers out there. You are not alone

I suggest you drink four bottles of quality real ale, have some scratchings, and slam your head repeatedly in a door until the anxiety subsides. Then you will only have to worry about a blinding headache and which washing powder to use.

Could I add something please? HAB - you may be in love in which case SY01's advice still applies.

Those were the symptoms of a panic attack or maybe even a heart attack.

[suityou01]

Those were the symptoms of a panic attack or maybe even a heart attack.

In which case can I suggest you write to

SY01s medical emergencies
PO BOX 9
LU1 9FU

and mark it as urgent.

HTH