ill-goten gains

[Purple Dalek]

I considered whether this should be in Accounting/Legal, yet thought: not really as I have a bit of an accounting/legal problem but yet it is not, and was wondering if you might give me some guidance in your usual manner: mostly nonsense, but with the accidental occasional piece of good advice.

The background: I have a client who is into all sorts of things, lots of fingers in lots of pies: restaurants, shops, clubs, garages, second-hand cars, building houses, fruit-machines, renting out flats, bouncers. He likes to work on a bit of a bartering system, I do some work and he's like "Why not bring the missus and kids to my Restaurant, it's all on me"

It's never much, the sort of thing you'd do for a neighbour or mate: how do I get this surround sound system to work, sort out the kids computer as hes forgotten the password. The guy is always really happy and very generous.

Problem is, this last little request, setting up a few websites, pushing them up the rankings, I was expecting to get a dinner out of it, yet he gives me this suitcase. It's full of cash. It's not a big suitcase, but bigger than a briefcase. I'm like "What am I supposed to do with this?" and he just laughs and wanders off, and I'm like, oops, maybe he's not the kind of guy you argue with.

Now my problem is: I want to pay the proper tax and everything on this, but how?

[eliquant]

You're having a laugh ! a what you going to do when the taxman looks at it and you have to decalre that 'Ronnie Biggs' gave you the cash in a suitcase, he's not going to be very pleased with you when you declare him to Hector !!!

The "right thing to do" as Gordon Brown would say is to declare it, not sure how to go about it though, it sure is a tricky one.

[Churchill]

I considered whether this should be in Accounting/Legal, yet thought: not really as I have a bit of an accounting/legal problem but yet it is not, and was wondering if you might give me some guidance in your usual manner: mostly nonsense, but with the accidental occasional piece of good advice.

The background: I have a client who is into all sorts of things, lots of fingers in lots of pies: restaurants, shops, clubs, garages, second-hand cars, building houses, fruit-machines, renting out flats, bouncers. He likes to work on a bit of a bartering system, I do some work and he's like "Why not bring the missus and kids to my Restaurant, it's all on me"

It's never much, the sort of thing you'd do for a neighbour or mate: how do I get this surround sound system to work, sort out the kids computer as hes forgotten the password. The guy is always really happy and very generous.

Problem is, this last little request, setting up a few websites, pushing them up the rankings, I was expecting to get a dinner out of it, yet he gives me this suitcase. It's full of cash. It's not a big suitcase, but bigger than a briefcase. I'm like "What am I supposed to do with this?" and he just laughs and wanders off, and I'm like, oops, maybe he's not the kind of guy you argue with.

Now my problem is: I want to pay the proper tax and everything on this, but how?

Suitcase? What suitcase?

Problem solved.

Simples.

[Gonzo]

Now my problem is: I want to pay the proper tax and everything on this, but how?

I think that paying the proper tax is the least of your worries, you are now the first step in a money laundering operation.

There have been a number of legal changes in recent years that mean that estate agents, auction houses and the like are harder to place large amounts of cash through so the money launderers are looking for other targets.

[HairyArsedBloke]

I think that paying the proper tax is the least of your worries, you are now the first step in a money laundering operation.

There have been a number of legal changes in recent years that mean that estate agents, auction houses and the like are harder to place large amounts of cash through so the money launderers are looking for other targets.

Aye.

If you have ever worked in the financial sector then you would have had the money laundering lectures 'n all that. If it ever comes to court, your feet won't touch the ground.

I personally would take the money (assuming that it's real) and say nothing, but I am a dodgy geezer.

[MarillionFan]

This happens all the time in the building sector. Had a mate turn up a while back as he'd been given £40K in cash from a client and could I put half through the business and give him a cheque so it he could use it.

No worries I said. I want 20%.

He didn't bother after that!

[Gonzo]

I personally would take the money (assuming that it's real) and say nothing, but I am a dodgy geezer.

I have some relatives that deal in second-hand agricultural machinery - tractors, combine-harvesters, that sort of thing.

A couple of years ago they mentioned how they thought it was strange that they were now getting visits from coloured gentlemen from London (they are in rural Somerset) who wanted to purchase large vehicles but would only pay cash.

Now, a recession is on, their normal customers were not buying, their business is not regulated for money laundering, should they take the cash?

I have no idea if they ever tried to pay a lot of cash into the bank though so don't know if you could get away with that without a challenge.

[stek]

How much we talking here? Is it 4 figures? 5? 6? Gulp..

I've regularly put £2k wodges in the bank cash, no questions asked (yet!).

[OwlHoot]

Now my problem is: I want to pay the proper tax and everything on this

You're completely and utterly berserk.

(or at the very least brainwashed until your head has been addled)

[NotAllThere]

In my case, I'd transferred £26K to relatives on my wife's side, so they could by a house in their country of origin, that they were visiting at the time. They paid me back in cash - stacks of £20 - when I was next in visiting them in the UK. I'm fairly confident it was undeclared profit.

I went to the bank, and said I want to deposit a large amount of money. "Just go to the next free cashier, sir". "It's £26K", I said. "I'll get the bank manager...". ( In Switzerland they'd say "No need to be coy sir, poverty isn't a crime in this country" ).

For any amount over £10K, (IIRC), you must state the source of the money. "My in-laws repaying a loan". I never heard any more about it.

If it's less than the limit, you just put it into your business bank account,and treat it just as if he'd given you a cheque. If it's more, I'd consider changing my name and leaving the country, in case he needed a favour.