ill-goten gains

[Gonzo]

How much we talking here? Is it 4 figures? 5? 6? Gulp..

I've regularly put £2k wodges in the bank cash, no questions asked (yet!).

The machinery is five figures.

I think you will be OK with £2K at the moment although there will come a time when cash will be obsolete, as much for audit trail reasons as for convenience.

[Scary]

If you're sure it's real just keep it under a mattress and pay for all shopping trips, meals out, cinema, etc. etc. in cash. Save more of your legitimate money in the bank account.

[Gibbon]

Don't put it in the bank ever!

If you want and it will ease your guilt, drop many small amounts into some charity boxes.

The rest use as spends but not too much in any one place.

Oh and buy a wing mirror, plonk it on your shoulder and see if anyone is following you.

[alreadypacked]

Buy the max Premium Bonds over a few months.

[chef]

What sort of figure are we talking about here? I mean a slightly larger than average briefcase with a load of fivers thrown in is in a slightly different league to a large carry on luggage sized case with stacks of £20 note wedges crammed in until it's bursting..

[PRC1964]

Send it to me and I'll pay the tax for you.

[NotAllThere]

Of course strictly, if you use the suitcase for anything other than strictly busines, you must declare it as a BIK, and pay the appropriate NI.

[Gold Dalek]

It's full of cash. It's not a big suitcase, but bigger than a briefcase. I'm like "What am I supposed to do with this?" and he just laughs and wanders off, and I'm like, oops, maybe he's not the kind of guy you argue with.

Now my problem is: I want to pay the proper tax and everything on this, but how?

You fookin muppet!!

[bobspud]

Buy the max Premium Bonds over a few months.

If you're sure it's real just keep it under a mattress and pay for all shopping trips, meals out, cinema, etc. etc. in cash. Save more of your legitimate money in the bank account.

Way to go if you really want to get caught...

If you get audited you would need to account for the things you own... So no sudden house purchases in this country

If you have spent £xxx a week on shopping petrol and entertainment then any change in the habbits will be picked up from your bank statements...

A sudden big sports car purchase should leave a dent in your bank account or can be matched to a new loan agreement... if not why?

There was a series on the tax investigators years ago and they picked up a chinese restaurant owner for evasion, based on the fact that he was showing 100 meals a night in the books but consuming on average 300 extra cartons.

[meridian]

For any amount over £10K, (IIRC), you must state the source of the money. "My in-laws repaying a loan". I never heard any more about it.

If it's less than the limit, you just put it into your business bank account,and treat it just as if he'd given you a cheque. If it's more, I'd consider changing my name and leaving the country, in case he needed a favour.

The banks have a duty to report "suspicious transactions". There's a limit they use for filling in forms, but part of their "know your customer" rules mean that regular deposits of cash just under the limit may also attract attention.