I feel a bit sick

[EternalOptimist]

I nicked some of the missus sweeties off the kitchen table last night, raisins in white chocolate in a half empty bag. They tasted a bit funny, but what the heck. A few hours later she comments on how clever the cats are, managing to get the cat treats out of the bag and scoff them, even though they werent so keen earlier on.

Then I watched Brewster-Roustabout cleaning her bum hole with her little pink darting tongue. Now listen to this - cats are CARNIVORES, right ? well this little b@stard jumped onto the kitchen table and started to lick the purple grapes. MY purple grapes.

I feel a bit sick

[DiscoStu]

[doodab]

Now listen to this - cats are CARNIVORES, right ? well this little b@stard jumped onto the kitchen table and started to lick the purple grapes. MY purple grapes.

Piles eh? You should get them sorted, they will only get worse.

[Churchill]

Then I watched Brewster-Roustabout cleaning her bum hole with her little pink darting tongue.

Now listen to this - cats are CARNIVORES, right ? well this little b@stard jumped onto the kitchen table and started to lick the purple grapes. MY purple grapes.

I feel a bit sick

They like yeast so that's probably why they licked your grapes!

Failing that it was to get their own back for you pinching their treats!

[EternalOptimist]

They like yeast so that's probably why they licked your grapes!

Failing that it was to get their own back for you pinching their treats!

You just gave me a stunning idea. Not being a contortionist, I cant manage to lick my own bum, then their cat-treats, but I think the missus might go for it. Might cost me a handbag though

[doodab]

You just gave me a stunning idea. Not being a contortionist, I cant manage to lick my own bum, then their cat-treats, but I think the missus might go for it. Might cost me a handbag though

Rather than using your tongue to make the transfer, why not try a finger?

[Churchill]

You just gave me a stunning idea. Not being a contortionist, I cant manage to lick my own bum, then their cat-treats, but I think the missus might go for it. Might cost me a handbag though

Smear Marmite round your ringpiece - the missus might not like marmite but the cats will.

[chef]

or possibly just some toilet roll, go for the ones with basalm to make it feel nicer

[EternalOptimist]

Smear Marmite round your ringpiece - the missus might not like marmite but the cats will.

they wont go near it, not after what happened last time

[Churchill]

or possibly just some toilet roll, go for the ones with balsamic to make it taste nicer

FTFY!