I've never been so insulted in all my life

[The Lone Gunman]

As I have been writing software in the defence industry for the last ten years I find I have no reason to make up stories, though I sometimes embelish the stuff I have done.
It is great fun playing the war monger.

[Guinness_Cat]

2) I got her name wrong then she went off on a big monologue on how getting her name wrong is the most insulting thing you can do to a woman. Bla blah blah.... she even wound up quoting Maya Angelou at me.

My favourite response to this would be:

I'm terribly sorry but women of a certain age all look the same to me.
Guaranteed to do the trick...

[HairyArsedBloke]

Used to bump into a lot of people like that when I lived in London and I hit upon the idea of telling them I was an arms dealer (small ordinance & landmines mainly) Most of them took the bait as well and ended up working themselves into a proper state.

I've used the line of being a consultant to money launders of oil speculators based in Caribbean tax-havens. That had a few lefties ranting more than once.

As to how close that is to the truth: no comment.

[Clarky]

You should've just sat her down (preferably on your knee) and explained that big words are for grown ups.

Oh, and that she is spouting utter crap with so many vagueries and flaws that she should work for the government.

Oh wait, her name wasn't Harriet was it?

[DaveB]

I've used the line of being a consultant to money launders of oil speculators based in Caribbean tax-havens. That had a few lefties ranting more than once.

As to how close that is to the truth: no comment.

These days it's easier to tell them you're a derivatives trader for a merchant bank.

[HairyArsedBloke]

These days it's easier to tell them you're a derivatives trader for a merchant bank.

As it happens ......... I don't work for a merchant bank, but .....

[Peoplesoft bloke]

it's not just the wimmin. My ex-skoolmate told me off for joining a facebook group called "I would like to punch Joan Sarpong in the face" At least I have read Maya Angelou and Doris Lessing - bet he hasn't. The git.

[bogeyman]

As it happens ......... I don't work for a merchant bank, but .....

Impress them with your bonus!

[bogeyman]

it's not just the wimmin. My ex-skoolmate told me off for joining a facebook group called "I would like to punch Joan Sarpong in the face" At least I have read Maya Angelou and Doris Lessing - bet he hasn't. The git.

Who the fekk is Joan Sarpong?

No! I'm not going to Google it.

[NotAllThere]

You should've just sat her down (preferably on your knee) and explained that big words are for grown ups...

Then stood her up, patted her on the rump, and told her to go an play with her dollies.