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Things not to attempt when pissed

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    #21
    Think you can fix a row with your wife when she's pre-menstrual and you've come in pissed from lunchtime and you're supposed to be going to a dinner party with her friends in the evening.
    My all-time favourite Dilbert cartoon, this is: BTW, a Dumpster is a brand of skip, I think.

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      #22
      Mow the lawn or use power tools

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        #23
        Originally posted by RichardCranium View Post
        ...many quotes ...
        RC, your experience of thing not do do when pissed is impressive.

        Learned the hard way, I assume ?

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          #24
          Things not to attempt when pissed
          Begin a sentence about a brilliant insight and then... erm...

          no. it's gone.
          Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

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            #25
            Originally posted by Moscow Mule View Post
            Walking home from Central London (C'monnnnn, it's only 14 miles!!!!)


            Only 14 miles when you can walk in a straight line.
            Behold the warranty -- the bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away.

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              #26
              drive a princess and her boyfriend home after a night out at the Ritz in Paris?

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                #27
                Originally posted by Cliphead View Post
                Now I'm upset. Why when you drop a pizza it lands interesting side down?
                Not the version I remember, but: Why toast likes to land butter-side down
                Behold the warranty -- the bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away.

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                  #28
                  Originally posted by Platypus View Post
                  RC, your experience of thing not do do when pissed is impressive. Learned the hard way, I assume ?
                  Yep.

                  Try to ride your new racing bike up a kerb. (I should really have gone to A&E with that to get my face stitched back up but I was too pissed to care.)

                  Sleep it off in the driving seat of your car overnight with the engine running parked in the slip lane from Wood Lane onto the A40.

                  Take a kebab to bed when staying in the company flat. (Stained the sheets purple.)

                  Try to bake a frozen pizza (16 hours at gas mark 9).

                  Fall asleep on the underground.

                  Suddenly change trains when you wake up on the underground assuming you've missed your stop.

                  "Just sit and rest my eyes for a moment" when waiting for the last train home to arrive.

                  Think it would be a good idea to install [I'm not confessing this bit] on the departmental secretary's PC so that when she switches it on she is presented with something to open her eyes.
                  My all-time favourite Dilbert cartoon, this is: BTW, a Dumpster is a brand of skip, I think.

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                    #29
                    Book plane tickets to Brazil leaving the following day [Friday] and coming back on Sunday afternoon, having calculated we'd get at least 2 days there and "could do everything".

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                      #30
                      Attempt to climb tall buildings.

                      Attempt to climb tall buildings holding a full pint of lager.

                      Attempt to climb tall buildings holding a full pint of lager and hardly spill a drop.

                      Attempt to climb tall buildings holding a full pint of lager and hardly spill a drop, managing to walk up the apex of a sloped roof and lean (casually) on the chimney.

                      Attempt to climb tall buildings holding a full pint of lager and hardly spill a drop, managing to walk up the apex of a sloped roof and lean (casually) on the chimney, seeing some startled people 6 floors below on the street notice you, raising your pint glass in the air to toast them, and shouting "It's ok, I'm a professional climber!".

                      I'm not a professional climber. The trip down was heart-stopping.

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