First Time Contractors - Whose Arse Do You Need to Kiss On First Day?

[Menelaus]

Guys,

Can we keep this serious? I am all up for having a laugh and giggle but this is not the place for it

SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY please!!

Fair enough.

1. Whoever signs your timesheet - everyone else can go duck themselves.

2. Any questions of this nature should probably be best handled in Light Relief

[HairyArsedBloke]

Guys,

Can we keep this serious? I am all up for having a laugh and giggle but this is not the place for it

SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY please!!

It's not in my T&C to be serious on this board, but if I were then I'd agree with this one:

There are only 3 people you need to get on with on site if you want to do well and get renewed.

The security guard, the cleaner and the bosses secretary.
Nobody else matters.

[Wilmslow]

Don't do what a contract Test Manager did to me - stated everything he was doing is right, and myself and my team were all wrong.

Needless to say, being a permie I won and he got escorted to the door. (Helped by him getting argumentative with the head receptionist who complained to senior management after he was making secret recordings and told the IT security manager about this!!)

Basically, say yes, do not challenge, keep a very low profile and all will be good.......

[Zippy]

Don't kiss anyones arse, be friendly and professional.

You should be able to estimate your work but if delivery depends on another system you know nothing about (or is out of your control) then say so.

[NotAllThere]

... this is not the place for it...

what on earth makes you think that?

Always be nice to the admin staff. Always get the first round of drinks in, if you can't avoid going to the pub with the perms.

[fckvwls]

Basically, say yes, do not challenge, keep a very low profile and all will be good.......

You wuss. I guess we and you already knew that.

[weemster]

Try and be an friendly sort of chap/chapess - technically good used to be good enough nowadays technically good, business and people minded are all required skills.

If you can't do the job technically, then you won't get a renewal or last long so thats a given (that said I have met some contractors who haven't a clue, not many but a few) so imo smile and be cheerful.

[ace00]

Guys,

Can we keep this serious? I am all up for having a laugh and giggle but this is not the place for it

SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY please!!

Here's a tip: Don't go around telling people what they should or should not do when you have no right to do so.

Now CM's waiting pretty-boy - lie back & think about the pay-check.

[EternalOptimist]

There is a technique used in competetive cycling, know as 'blood packing'. You can achieve the same results on day 1 by going into the gents at 09:00, finding an empty trap, and standing on your head in the corner for five minutes.

The increased blood flow to the brain area will work wonders

[The Lone Gunman]

Guys,

Can we keep this serious? I am all up for having a laugh and giggle but this is not the place for it

SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY please!!

Cheeky fooker. Coming on here asking for free advice from people who have paid their dues and bear the scars of the knowledge gained.
When valid advice is given, even sarcasticly, you treat it as though it is not serious.
Then you have the audacity to tell us how we should play in our playground!

Twat.

Security. They are ultimately responsible for letting you through the gate. They can be miserable if they do not like you, but can work wonders when you have dropped one. If you need to work late or get in early you will need them onside. They will keep an eye on your car too.
Cleaners. They are the first to know what is going on. They have access all areas and know the news. If you are getting bad mouthed they will know. If the place is closing down they will know.
If you are nice to them they will keep you in the loop and might put in a good word for you when they hear people talking. They will make sure your desk area is clean and tidy.
Bosses secretary. She has the bosses ear and is likely to sway the bosses opinion on whether you get kept on. She is also responsible for getting your time sheet put under the bosses nose.
She runs the boss. He only thinks he runs the company. Her opinion matters. Everybody else can bitch and whine, but if she likes you then you are safe.

The receptionist is also important.