I got my instructions for Saturday

[BrilloPad]

I am getting married Saturday. Today I received an email/letter with my instructions for the day :-

BrilloPad
On Saturday 25th July you will:

Wake at around 7am, rise, dress in you usual cr4p and have breakfast

7.55am you will drive DD and I to the hairdressers

You will collect us when we are done – approx 8.30am

When Best Man and wife arrive you will go and put the child seat in their car.

You will go upstairs and dress in your suit.

At around 9am the flowers will arrive – someone will help you with your button hole

You will put the orders of service and the flower girl’s flowers into Best Man’s boot.

At 9.45am you will leave for the registry

At the registry you will direct 2 people to give out orders of service at the door to the room where we get married.

You will ensure that the flower girls have their flowers.

You will have your interview with the registrar.

You will go into the room and get married to me and look happy about it.

You will stop CM and Churchill getting too drunk at the reception.

=============================================

Okay : I lied about the CM and Churchill bit : but the rest is true.

How am I supposed to be happy about getting married?

[voodooflux]

You will go into the room and get married to me and look happy about it.

You will stop CM and Churchill getting too drunk at the reception.

Good luck with that

[Menelaus]

Brilliant - congratulations

... look happy about it

[SuperZ]

All that and no mention of se* either.

You`re well and truly under the thumb already. Your life is over.

However, congrats and have a good day!

[moorfield]

No pressure then eh BP?

Have a great day and good luck to all.

PS.

You will "perform" on the wedding night too, won't you?

[PRC1964]

In return for all of that, make sure that Mrs BP chucks the bouquet right at CM. Cover it in velcro if you think there's a chance she might not catch it.

Have a great day with plenty of .

[BrilloPad]

You will "perform" on the wedding night too, won't you?

She has been on about that too! I am 45 FFS : well pass my studding age and I perform far better spontaneously than on command. Looks like I will have to take a Kamagra......

[TykeMerc]

I'd suggest a rewrite and submission to author for review, but seeing how there's a wife being installed, the long term grief involved with that tactic would probably be unwise.

[BrilloPad]

In return for all of that, make sure that Mrs BP chucks the bouquet right at CM. Cover it in velcro if you think there's a chance she might not catch it.

She will catch it okay : even if she has to elbow everyone else out of the way!

[minestrone]

reply with..

Instructions for rest of life..

6am prepare breakfast

7am light dusting

9am laundry

12am food shopping

1pm cleaning

3pm ironing

4pm cleaning

5pm dinner preperation

6pm -12 pm hostess duty

See how she likes it

All the best anyway