Life on the bench: in my dressing gown

[conned tractor]

No, I bottled out of doing that.


Instead I was a good boy, did my research, wrote my presentation with pretty handouts and everything, told them how much I admired them and would just wither and die if I couldn't work there and answered all their questions thoroughly with examples of Good Works and smiled lots and remembered to use their first names and used open body language and looked keen and attentive and got there 5 minutes early and had a prepared question at the end to show I was interested and I was able to tell them something about their organisation they didn't know and didn't let it over-run or under-run and flirted a little with the Receptionist and had a shave and brushed my hair and polished my shoes and took occasional notes and asked them to "please repeat the question" rather than ramble and took spare CVs and remembered to take my ID documents and the copies and I didn't slouch or swear or pick my nose and I remembered to ask if I had answered their question and asked at the end of there was anything else they needed to know to convince them I could do the job and took my certifications (we ask for them but don't look and just take your word for it).

I think I did OK.

Nice one, hope you get it.

[HairyArsedBloke]

Instead I was a good boy, did my research, wrote my presentation with pretty handouts and everything, told them how much I admired them and would just wither and die if I couldn't work there and answered all their questions thoroughly with examples of Good Works and smiled lots and remembered to use their first names and used open body language and looked keen and attentive and got there 5 minutes early and had a prepared question at the end to show I was interested and I was able to tell them something about their organisation they didn't know and didn't let it over-run or under-run and flirted a little with the Receptionist and had a shave and brushed my hair and polished my shoes and took occasional notes and asked them to "please repeat the question" rather than ramble and took spare CVs and remembered to take my ID documents and the copies and I didn't slouch or swear or pick my nose and I remembered to ask if I had answered their question and asked at the end of there was anything else they needed to know to convince them I could do the job and took my certifications (we ask for them but don't look and just take your word for it).

You managed to do all that without throwing up or bursting out with laughter?

You're a better man than me.

Have you considered being a MP?

[RichardCranium]

Have you considered being a MP?

How so very dare you?

[Zippy]

How so very dare you?

Good money, two homes, fully expensed beer account ....

[Churchill]

How so very dare you?

Good money, two homes, fully expensed beer account ....

The trouble with selling your soul to the Devil is that one day he's gonna want to collect...

[alreadypacked]

I think I did OK.

When will you hear

[RichardCranium]

When will you hear

They said they have a long list of people to see (there are three roles they are recruiting for) and some of them will not be interviewed until next week. So, I probably won't hear anything for at least two weeks. Needless to say, I have not stopped looking elsewhere...

[alreadypacked]

They said they have a long list of people to see (there are three roles they are recruiting for) and some of them will not be interviewed until next week. So, I probably won't hear anything for at least two weeks. Needless to say, I have not stopped looking elsewhere...

Fingers crossed, you may get a start date in time for the Xmas party

[eliquant]

That's the way to do it Richard, keep the plates spinning at the same time and something will turn up.

[RichardCranium]

Yet again I am tempted to produce a completely new CV.

Start with a blank document.

Put in those employers I am happy with. Drop those that are less than impressive.

Then just make up the dates. It appears nobody will ever know.

Does anyone ever ask for degree certificates outside academia or the banks? I may as well invent a degree too.

If I give the right ID documents, they won't be able to find out my DOB either. I wonder how may years I could take off my age?

Actually, given I'm a PM, I could just slap some techie stuff on there too like SAP and .NET and nobody will not really know I know bugger all about them.

It's tempting...