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Naturally induce labour

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    #11
    For our second, my (now ex) missus guzzled a small bottle of cod liver oil (about 100ml IIRC). An hour or so later she took a hot bath to try to get things started. Boy when it started, it started! Daughter born at home only a few hours later - by the time we realised labour was underway, it was too late to get to hospital!

    Warning: cod liver oil also induces the sh!ts

    Comment


      #12
      Originally posted by scooby View Post
      count yourself lucky!

      I had day off yesterday for the wifes planned c-section (bad experience last time...).

      So she starves herself from midnight the before (well, 8pm actually), we get to hospital at 845 for 9pm appointment. we;re told instantly that there is an emergency section lined up and one other planned (only two planned per day), so we're happy with that as you cant really argue plus we've been there and done that.

      12pm arrives, nurse pops in, should be ready at 1430, does the wife want a drip as she is thirsty, no as we'll be going in at 1400 for prep etc.

      15:15 i'm bored and getting annoyed. no one is telling us anything. i go out and grab a nurse, "dr will be with you in a min". 20 mins later same nurse comes in, who turns out to be the ward manager. i ask whats going on. she gets all snotty, "there have been emergencies as you know...". now i'm normally firey so i didnt hold back, saw my arse at this point...

      "excuse me, my wife is in tulip state, no food or drink since last night. i took a day off work and lost £x00's. you waste my day and in come in all snotty, i think you need to take yourself in to the corner and have a word with yourself... just what are these emergencies you refer to" (more or less word for word)

      "er, you know about the emergencies" (still snotty)
      "actually, we know about one at 9am."
      "oh, er, tulip... has no one spoken to you?" (suddenly starting to creep)
      "no."
      "er... ICU emergency... Aneathetist had to escort and go to hope hospital... No Aneathetist for you... cant do today..."
      "so you are saying not today"
      "yes, we're really really sorry... it will be Tuesday now, we promise"
      "you sure?"
      "yes, i promise to ring and confirm by 10am Monday etc blah blah blah"

      So i now have a hysterical wife. she had prepped herself to leave our 21mth for the 1st time ever for 3 nights and now she has to build up to it again. the consultant suggested this approach as it was supposed to be "less stress" that the first baby...

      So now i've had to rearrange my whole week at 1615 on a friday, luckily i have understanding client...

      useless arses. i hate the NHMess.
      This sounds terrible, I hope things get sorted. On another note, try playing around with conjunctions such as and, but,for, so, yet etc etc Just chuck them in and see what comes.

      HTH
      Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

      Comment


        #13
        no word of a lie.....

        Took my eldest now to see a local circus and the missus said a loud comedy bang from the said clown car doing his thing kicked off the labour for our second.

        so I suggest you go find the nearest circus and sit through the performance to see if that helps

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          #14
          Just juiced up two pineapples and got it down her. Watch this space.
          Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

          Comment


            #15
            Sex is the only thing physically proved to work. Semen thins the mucus plug.

            If the baby isn't ready to move and you try the other methods, she'll just get bad diahorrea and feel a hell of a lot worse, .
            Oh, I’m sorry….I seem to be lost. I was looking for the sane side of town. I’d ask you for directions, but I have a feeling you’ve never been there and I’d be wasting my time.

            Comment


              #16
              Originally posted by SizeZero View Post
              Sex is the only thing physically proved to work. Semen thins the mucus plug.

              If the baby isn't ready to move and you try the other methods, she'll just get bad diahorrea and feel a hell of a lot worse, .
              Agreed. Am due to pop now. As sex isn't an option for me, I was sorely tempted by the pineapple/curry/raspberry leaf tea gubbins, but don't really think it can do much except make me feel ill. Booooooo.
              Practically perfect in every way....there's a time and (more importantly) a place for malarkey.
              +5 Xeno Cool Points

              Comment


                #17
                Originally posted by SizeZero View Post
                Sex is the only thing physically proved to work. Semen thins the mucus plug.

                If the baby isn't ready to move and you try the other methods, she'll just get bad diahorrea and feel a hell of a lot worse, .
                Ewwwww.

                So glad I confined my paternal birthing activities to pacing up and down a hospital corridor 'smoking' and fidgeting with an unlit briar pipe.

                It was something of a family tradition.

                You've come right out the other side of the forest of irony and ended up in the desert of wrong.

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                  #18
                  It always suprises me how many people I talk to about pregnancy and all of them come over sheepish when its mentioned that sex can induce labour.

                  Its not exactly a ******* secret how she got like that so stop acting like a shy bride on her wedding night and just go pound her into the miracoils.

                  Comment


                    #19
                    Originally posted by SizeZero View Post
                    Sex is the only thing physically proved to work. Semen thins the mucus plug.

                    If the baby isn't ready to move and you try the other methods, she'll just get bad diahorrea and feel a hell of a lot worse, .
                    NIPPLE STIMULATION!!

                    HTH
                    Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

                    Comment


                      #20
                      Havinf sex at this stage. What if the nipper got it in the eye?
                      The court heard Darren Upton had written a letter to Judge Sally Cahill QC saying he wasn’t “a typical inmate of prison”.

                      But the judge said: “That simply demonstrates your arrogance continues. You are typical. Inmates of prison are people who are dishonest. You are a thoroughly dishonestly man motivated by your own selfish greed.”

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