Naturally induce labour

[Sockpuppet]

Havinf sex at this stage. What if the nipper got it in the eye?

He'd have a hear of gigantic cocks?

That'd be his career in politics ruined then.

[NotAllThere]

...

Its not exactly a ******* secret how she got like that so stop acting like a shy bride on her wedding night and just go pound her into the miracoils.

With my missus we went to a rock concert, then went home and "rocked" some more; labour started about half-an-hour later.

[d000hg]

Just juiced up two pineapples and got it down her. Watch this space.

I'm not sure oral sex has the same effect...

[d000hg]

Agreed. Am due to pop now. As sex isn't an option for me, I was sorely tempted by the pineapple/curry/raspberry leaf tea gubbins, but don't really think it can do much except make me feel ill. Booooooo.

Why isn't it an option?

[BoredBloke]

Get her to give you a BJ in the morning and again at night until the little one makes his/her arrival. I bet that speeds things up and if it doesn't at least you have something (other than a new kid) to look forward to.

[FSM with Cheddar]

Why isn't it an option?

Have you not been following MaryPoppins trials and tribulations in the man department?

[d000hg]

Have you not been following MaryPoppins trials and tribulations in the man department?

No, been on holiday the last few weeks . Sounds interesting though... synopsis? Anyway, maybe she could recruit someone from CUK to help her out...

[original PM]

if i recall she claims to be proper doirty too!

[Menelaus]

if i recall she claims to be proper doirty too!

Given straining at labour is likely to cause defecation I think doirty might be a relevant adjective here!

[original PM]

I have two kids

wifey managed not to lay a cable during either.

there are some other stories but we will leave them in the maternity room!