How Married are you ?

[Platypus]

Best of luck, but IMO start on your exit strategy.

(what you're going thru is similar to my situation 8 years ago. now I'm happily divorced not that I can particularly recommend divorce. It sucks)

[Clippy]

Do you think there might be a reason ? like a common denominator ?

Wot like a large ginger geordie lass, like!

[SallyAnne]

She had a hysterectomy 6 years ago, which mean her hormones are unballanced. I know this and make allowances. But certainly for the last 3 years, she's been filled with anger most of the time.

I can never do enough for her. I cook 2 - 3 times a week, keep on top of the washing, stack the dishwasher, often do the ironing, keeping on top of the DIY, etc, etc....

The kids can never do enough (they're teenegers for goodness sake, their rooms aren't likely to look like a showhouse). They are pretty good kids (not perfect, but who'd want them to be?), and they never bring mates home unless mummy is grumpy

I've suggested relate, but she says there's nothing wrong, she's happy....

She's stormed out of the house 3 times recently "I'm the only one who does anything in this house, nobody helps me" sort of thing. I've started thinking "well don't come back then"! This is not healthy in a marriage.

I'm currently only staying there for the kids, but I'm not sure it does them any good to see their parents arguing all the time!

Ah you poor thing - that sounds horrible

Is there any way you can send her away for a little while? Pay for her to go on one of those womans retreat spa camp things for a fortnight or something - maybe the whole household woudl benefit from a bit of space from each other?

And if you can suggest that you both take that 2 weeks to write a list of all the things you're not happy with too, as a starting point for when she gets back?

It's so sad when things fall apart - I'm always convinced the love doesn't go entirely.
I hope it all works out for you x x

[SallyAnne]

Wot like a large ginger geordie lass, like!

I'd ignored that particular post

[Platypus]

Is there any way you can send her away for a little while?

This would of course be the ideal solution. In a wooden box.

[Cyberman]

She had a hysterectomy 6 years ago, which mean her hormones are unballanced. I know this and make allowances. But certainly for the last 3 years, she's been filled with anger most of the time.

I can never do enough for her. I cook 2 - 3 times a week, keep on top of the washing, stack the dishwasher, often do the ironing, keeping on top of the DIY, etc, etc....

The kids can never do enough (they're teenegers for goodness sake, their rooms aren't likely to look like a showhouse). They are pretty good kids (not perfect, but who'd want them to be?), and they never bring mates home unless mummy is grumpy

I've suggested relate, but she says there's nothing wrong, she's happy....

She's stormed out of the house 3 times recently "I'm the only one who does anything in this house, nobody helps me" sort of thing. I've started thinking "well don't come back then"! This is not healthy in a marriage.

I'm currently only staying there for the kids, but I'm not sure it does them any good to see their parents arguing all the time!

I was a child in that sort of scenario. It was enough to deter me from thinking of marriage for decades. Strangely enough though, my parents are still together.

[cailin maith]

She had a hysterectomy 6 years ago, which mean her hormones are unballanced. I know this and make allowances. But certainly for the last 3 years, she's been filled with anger most of the time.

I can never do enough for her. I cook 2 - 3 times a week, keep on top of the washing, stack the dishwasher, often do the ironing, keeping on top of the DIY, etc, etc....

The kids can never do enough (they're teenegers for goodness sake, their rooms aren't likely to look like a showhouse). They are pretty good kids (not perfect, but who'd want them to be?), and they never bring mates home unless mummy is grumpy

I've suggested relate, but she says there's nothing wrong, she's happy....

She's stormed out of the house 3 times recently "I'm the only one who does anything in this house, nobody helps me" sort of thing. I've started thinking "well don't come back then"! This is not healthy in a marriage.

I'm currently only staying there for the kids, but I'm not sure it does them any good to see their parents arguing all the time!

Sounds tulip, you poor thing

Although it sounds a bit daft - but you can go to Relate by yourself. If she knows you are worried enough to want to see someone then she might get her ass in gear too.

Hope it works out.

[lilelvis2000]

Only if she saw you.

She was too busy writing down details from two young lads. Man! they were fine! (the boobs not the guys)

[denver2k]

There is a fit young bird wearing a low cut dress in the high-street doing surveys here. Was I wrong to ogle?

Dont feel guilty, You have as much freedom (to ogle) as she (to wear that).

[thelace]

Ah you poor thing - that sounds horrible

Is there any way you can send her away for a little while? Pay for her to go on one of those womans retreat spa camp things for a fortnight or something - maybe the whole household woudl benefit from a bit of space from each other?

And if you can suggest that you both take that 2 weeks to write a list of all the things you're not happy with too, as a starting point for when she gets back?

It's so sad when things fall apart - I'm always convinced the love doesn't go entirely.
I hope it all works out for you x x

Paid for her and her mate to go to London a few weeks back to see Dirty Dancing, the ultimate girly weekend... They had a great time and she was good for a few days...

Couple of weeks later took the boys away for a "boys weekend", that also gave her a break. Planning on doing that again.

I'll also suggest the list stuff and be on my best behaviour (i.e. not argue back, not even once) while we do it.

I think I'll give it one last stab before working on the exit route! I owe her that...