Would you give up soft toilet roll to save the planet?

[Gonzo]

There is no way that I am going to start using IZAL. My grandparents always had that <SHUDDERS>

But I do have to say that I quite like the bidet option, or the arab hose arrangement, but you don't often find either of those. (Except in France, Belgium or the Middle-East, obviously).

[Ruprect]

the US public's insistence on extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply products when they use the bathroom.

Its maybe not the insistence on extra soft, quilted, multi-ply tissue but the average area of massive USA arse that it has to cover

Hang on, just because you've got a butt that should emit a beeping sound if you walk backwards doesn't mean you have a massive rusty sheriff's badge does it? Surely the ring size is the same, regardless of the donut surrounding it?

[d000hg]

Maybe badger has a special technique, or is really messy and smears it everywhere and then has to clean the whole area...

[BoredBloke]

Is American bog roll any different to ours?

[Mich the Tester]

Is American bog roll any different to ours?

I don't know, but when I worked for a water board we used average turd amounts per person per day for working out the capacity of sewers and modelling water purification requirements. I can't remember the exact figures but a visiting American engineer said that he was quite suprised by just how little tulip the average European household produces compared to the average American household. All other variables being as good as equal, the only possible explanation was the food intake of the average American household.

[dinker]

I use a bidet, toilet paper is a disgusting idea.

[Mich the Tester]

I use a bidet, toilet paper is a disgusting idea.

I've never understood how the English can eat so much curry and yet not have a bidet; the cooling effect of a cold bidet would surely be quite a relief after an evening on the vindaloo.

[BoredBloke]

I don't know, but when I worked for a water board we used average turd amounts per person per day for working out the capacity of sewers and modelling water purification requirements. I can't remember the exact figures but a visiting American engineer said that he was quite suprised by just how little tulip the average European household produces compared to the average American household. All other variables being as good as equal, the only possible explanation was the food intake of the average American household.

Or perhaps the American is just good at spouting tulip while us anally retentive Europeans are simply full of sh1t.

[Mich the Tester]

Or perhaps the American is just good at spouting tulip while us anally retentive Europeans are simply full of tulip.

The French have a theory that the English have red faces and ruddy cheeks due to constipation.

[Drewster]

The French have a theory that the English have red faces and ruddy cheeks due to constipation.

Bl**dy Frogs - we all know the ruddy cheeks come from