School Bully

[NoddY]

Sorry to be negative but I strongly doubt this would happen (in this day and age) on the basis that you might hurt the bully's feelings

Just a "Can Kyle Mc$hit from 7A speak to me after assembly please". And that's the last anyone sees of little Kyle/Troy/Dwayne/whatever for a fortnight.

[BolshieBastard]

Typical school response to bullying claims ie its doesnt happen here, no siree bob, your child is making it up, your child should be stronger, blah, blah, blah.

Sorry but to get this sorted you're going to have to get dirty. Go see the head and demand to know why he \ she doesnt take your son's word for this accusation, ask if he \ she has reason to suspect he's making things up, if not, why is he \ she doing nothing especially if they have a bullying procedure?

Tell them you want positive action and you're going to the local press and later the police if necessary. I'd also suggest you let it drop that the local paper will probably make a big story out of your son being bullied and the school isnt believing either him or you.

[Board Game Geek]

Find another school ? Home tuition ?

[chef]

photograph any "scratches" he receives from school for when the papers become involved

[Badger]

Just had another thought, why did you let your child take the letter in, and not take it in personally? I would want to know first hand that the headmaster got the letter, even if it meant waiting around for him/her to turn up and losing a half day of invoicing.

[Ivor Bigun]

Having a friend look out for him is a bit difficult because as a blind kid, there are not that many who actually want to be seen to hang around with him. He was really popular at primary but he went through that school with all the same kids and they took him for what he was. Unfortunately the kids he got on with there all went their seperate ways when making the move to high school and now James is seen as a bit of an odd kid and I guess is pretty lonely. Personally I was going to take him to school and kick off in a big way - but my wife didn't think that would help too much. I figured I'd give them today! If anything else happens, no matter how small I will be down there to sort things out and I will have no problem highlighting this further.

Tony, ALL IMO..
- I assume moving his school isn't easy. BUT, if there is an equivalent school, consider moving him early but don't do anything yet - just re-investigate the options about the child's "statement" situation.

At the moment, this alledged "bullying" is trivial stuff. Don't confuse this with what it is - Its not a knifing and it never will be, so, whatever you do, always keep calm and be seen to be "reasonable".

- Its better if the mother deals with the school.
- The school needs to trust that you will work with them and vice versa.
- Be very careful that you only deal with facts - not what you think happened to your child.
- Its so easy to go off on one in front of treachers. Tantrums and threats will solve nothing and will hinder things for you all.
- Don't turn this into "I'll fight for my child" ego thing. Consider that your child has to learn how to deal with this by himself. This is something the school will try to tell you. In essence it means letting the bully get away with it - unless it becomes a repeated issue.

You've done the first step - informing the school. Give them time to deal with it. There's a chance that your involvement will make it worse.
I wish your child luck and that good things happen to him.

[eliquant]

tricky one this, suffice to say I am disgusted but not suprised, in my day kids would have banded together to fight something like this.

I say you get your kid to use covert video or audio recording devices that can play all day uninterrupted, then present the teachers with the evidence and if they don't act then go to a higher authority and the local media.

Whatever it takes.

[Sockpuppet]

No my kid was punched we have written to the school.... I was stopped from going down there.

I'd ask his friends at school to see if they know who it is.

You don't say what age this is.


Personally I'd ask your kid to wait out the front of the school while you watched and see if anyone does anything to him - if they do pound him into the ground.

[cojak]

At the moment, this alledged "bullying" is trivial stuff. Don't confuse this with what it is - Its not a knifing and it never will be, so, whatever you do, always keep calm and be seen to be "reasonable".

This has struck a painful chord with me.

While I agree with Ivor that you should remain calm and reasonable, from the point of view of a bullied child this is certainly not trivial.

It pervades your life. You dread going to bed on the Sunday and you dread every moment of your day at school.

You avoid the bullies but they will find you. And their mates. And anyone who wants to be their mates.

They wait for you at the school gates of a morning. They wait for you between lessons. They wait for you in the lunch queue. They wait for you in the toilets. They wait for you when the home bell rings.

They wait. Then they chant. Then they spit. Then they hit. Maybe they'll use knives next time. Who knows?*

Consider your plan of action carefully. Then escalate. Contact the RNIB - they ought to have support for this kind of thing. Include the education section of the local authority and the press.

Do not allow this to continue.

*And I was sighted. God knows how I would have coped if I'd been blind.

[NotAllThere]

When my daughter was bullied at school, my wife and I went with her the next day, with a camera, for her to point out the children that had done it. We took our photos and went up to her classroom, and had a discussion with the class teacher. Result - never bullied again. (And a very embarrassed daughter, but hey!).

When my other daughter was bullied by her classmates, I was away working. My wife went to the school, and addressed the girls who were waiting for the teacher to turn up. Result - never bullied again.

My son was never bullied despite been the shortest in his school, and academically gifted, because a) he's very difficult to intimdate b) can talk his way out of most situations c) fights dirty if pushed.

So my advice is to emigrate.

Assuming that's not a viable option. Insist on an appointment with the head, and demand action. A zero-tolerance approach (from you) seems to be only way.