Beware you contractors, Toxic wives on the prowl

[EternalOptimist]

It looks funny in the logo, thereby putting people off.

But, that could be offset by the number of greengrocers being drawn to the brand.

plus it screws up the sql strings in the access queries that the bank relies on for its transaction database

[Bagpuss]

No the lesson is: learn the use of the apostrophe. FFS

I saw a good one on the side of a van,

Jennys Buffet's

[Incognito]

Do you think the author of that piece was too ugly to grab herself a bit of the action? Little green monster springs to mind.

[zara_backdog]

I'm worried that women are going to try and chat me up.

[Incognito]

I'm worried that women are going to try and chat me up.

Why? Been overdoing it on the old hormone tablets have we?

[zathras]

I think most of you will be saved by your shoes

I think I'll be saved by the wife giving me a quick kick up the posterior if I so much thought about talking to any such lady.

[thunderlizard]

I have the opposite problem. I am not one for ostentatious spending, so the women I meet consistently fail to realise that I am absolutely disgustingly minted. They'll clock onto some chav's brand new Adidas trainers and chunky sovereigns, and fail to appreciate my bespoke superfine merino 2-piece and 9th-century Byzantine signet ring as I slope off to Thunderlizard Towers for my pot noodle.