Recession money-saving tips

[TheBigYinJames]

Do people actually have carpets nowadays? Why not just strip and buff the original floorboards. Looks much better.

Apparently caprets are making a comeback in interior design circles. But not in my house, my asthma cleared up completely when we got rid, and I'm not having them back.

[wobbegong]

Motorists, give two fingers to the congestion charge by simply putting another vehicles' number plates on your car.

When you reach your destination you can park where you like and avoid being wheel-clamped by jacking your car up, removing the wheels and locking them safely in the boot until you return.

Outfox those wiley traffic wardens trying to give your jacked up motor parking tickets, by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

[DimPrawn]

Do people actually have carpets nowadays? Why not just strip and buff the original floorboards. Looks much better.

Most houses post-1970 have nasty chipboard not fine oak planks.

[Diver]

Dnot bye expensiv spelcheckres youse ure brayn insted befour postng

Classic

[Diver]

Stay unemployed and save paying thousands to HMRC. With the added bonus that those suckers still working support you.

This solution is popular in the North apparently >Ducks & runs<

[Ruprect]

Don't throw away food. Toast moldy bread, and make stews and soups from old vegetables.

- Gordon Brown

[TimberWolf]

Take a career break from being a consumer, it is voluntary work essentially involving collecting stuff from shops and then putting it in the dustbin. Let shops throw away their own rubbish.

[ChimpMaster]

Save on hair gel by combining your morning routine with your daily masturbation sessions, as in "Something about Mary" style.

[chris79]

As I have always been a tightwad, even in the good times, I won't be changing my life drastically. However some of you younger silly spendthrifts may need some tips on how to cope.
Post your tips here

Tip 1: Get your booze at Aldi, Lidl or Morrisson. They have some excellent wines and spirits at prices not much more than the hypermarkets in Calais.
There is a very dry Prosecco at Lidl for £1.49. Perfect summer tipple.

I have a tip:-

Move up north where the economy is 'sensible', where people don't pay £500,000 and sign up for 60 year mortgages to buy a bedsit, where the air is clean, people are friendly, and life is good!

On second thoughts, no don't. People might hear and then we'll have 'southern immigration' ruining things.

[realityhack]

Avoid paying for dishwashing liquid and the unnecessary expense of a dishwasher by licking all your plates sparkly-clean and placing them back in the cupboard.

This has the added advantage of challenging/bolstering your immune system, saving you money on antibiotics and vitamins.