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Chronic Flatulence

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    Chronic Flatulence

    What's the best way of dealing with an office farter? I've narrowed it down to two prime suspects. All I know for certain is that someone arrives at work each morning with a very bad gut
    Autom...Sprow...Canna...Tik banna...Sandwol...But no sera smee

    #2
    Talcum Power

    Rub some talcum powder/flour on the suspects chair its will soon be obvious

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by WageSlave
      What's the best way of dealing with an office farter? I've narrowed it down to two prime suspects. All I know for certain is that someone arrives at work each morning with a very bad gut
      Work clever and get an office of your own.

      Spod - in "Threaded" mode!

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by WageSlave
        What's the best way of dealing with an office farter? I've narrowed it down to two prime suspects. All I know for certain is that someone arrives at work each morning with a very bad gut
        Crumble a charcoal biscuit into his coffee.

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          #5
          Originally posted by SupremeSpod
          Work clever and get an office of your own.

          Spod - in "Threaded" mode!
          Had a private office with my previous client. Made up for no Internet access. Also handy for sleeping... of which I did plenty.
          Autom...Sprow...Canna...Tik banna...Sandwol...But no sera smee

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by WageSlave
            Had a private office with my previous client. Made up for no Internet access. Also handy for sleeping... of which I did plenty.
            That's my boy!

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              #7
              try triangulation

              Move position around the office on different days and attempt to triangulate the culprit that way. The only problem is that THEY will then know who the tw@t is with the smelly feet

              (\__/)
              (>'.'<)
              ("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to Work

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by WageSlave
                What's the best way of dealing with an office farter? I've narrowed it down to two prime suspects. All I know for certain is that someone arrives at work each morning with a very bad gut
                A good wheeze is to aquire a CO/gas detection handheld kit (often found in refineries or chemical plants). Simply placed said device on your desk and when culprit drops his guts, the device will alarm loudly for the whole office to hear. To further embarrass said farter, pick up the device and follow the source of the gas and saying the level readings aloud while you walk.

                I've actually seen one of these devices go off when someone dropped their guts while another refinery engineer was following him up some steps.

                Hours of amusment to see who can achive the highest gas reading during those very quiet night shifts.
                If you think my attitude stinks, you should smell my fingers.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by WageSlave
                  What's the best way of dealing with an office farter? I've narrowed it down to two prime suspects. All I know for certain is that someone arrives at work each morning with a very bad gut


                  Ok once you've identified the exact source, what would you do? confront the suspect (five bullets in the head should work)??

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                    #10
                    gimme five

                    Sandy
                    five in the head, but the first one goes in the mouth.

                    If you or your DDs ever fart near me you get it in the mouth
                    (\__/)
                    (>'.'<)
                    ("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to Work

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