Three Little Pigs 'too offensive'

[Diver]

Wheres Captain Pugwash I want to know, I do so miss Seaman Staines

[Diver]

And what's up with Muffin the Mule ?

[Diver]

Contrary to popular belief, the names of Captain Pugwashes crew were not particularly smutty. 'Master Bates', 'Seaman Staines' and 'Roger the Cabin Boy' (plus the later addition of 'Simon the Bar Steward') being the names often quoted as proving the programme's dodginess.

[Churchill]

I have just taught my 5-year old twins the alternative postman pat song -
postman pat, postman pat, postman pat ran over his cat

Shouldn't this post be in the roadkill thread?

[DimPrawn]

Three Litte Pigs?

Offensive to Police Officers perhaps.

[Pondlife]

Couldn't resist sorry.

A farmhand is driving 'round the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I've got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he's stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He's still wriggling — what should I do?''

"In the back of your truck there's a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush."

The farm worker agrees and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush."

"So what's the problem now?" his Boss snapped.

"The blue light on his bike is still flashing!"

[HYpno27]

I no longer recognise when to be offended by anything, until the Daily Mail lets me know when I should be