Reply to: Three Little Pigs 'too offensive'

[HYpno27]

I no longer recognise when to be offended by anything, until the Daily Mail lets me know when I should be

[Pondlife]

Couldn't resist sorry.

A farmhand is driving 'round the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I've got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he's stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He's still wriggling — what should I do?''

"In the back of your truck there's a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush."

The farm worker agrees and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush."

"So what's the problem now?" his Boss snapped.

"The blue light on his bike is still flashing!"

[DimPrawn]

Three Litte Pigs?

Offensive to Police Officers perhaps.

[Churchill]

I have just taught my 5-year old twins the alternative postman pat song -
postman pat, postman pat, postman pat ran over his cat

Shouldn't this post be in the roadkill thread?

[Diver]

Contrary to popular belief, the names of Captain Pugwashes crew were not particularly smutty. 'Master Bates', 'Seaman Staines' and 'Roger the Cabin Boy' (plus the later addition of 'Simon the Bar Steward') being the names often quoted as proving the programme's dodginess.

[Diver]

And what's up with Muffin the Mule ?

[Diver]

Wheres Captain Pugwash I want to know, I do so miss Seaman Staines

[lilelvis2000]

I have just taught my 5-year old twins the alternative postman pat song -
postman pat, postman pat, postman pat ran over his cat

There are also alternate dialogs on YouTube. check it out. some are hilarious. Some have four letter words, need to filter them before the kids see them.

[BrilloPad]

My son watches Thomas and Friends every morning..The Fat Controller is still there..I'm sure they haven't renamed him to Pat. Which is curious, was Postman Pat really named Postman Fat before?

I have just taught my 5-year old twins the alternative postman pat song -
postman pat, postman pat, postman pat ran over his cat

[lilelvis2000]

In my son's school, they changed the main character, from Fat Pig to Pat Pig, by carefully drawing over the F.

Thus obviously to avoid offending fat bar stewards, don't think they're too bothered about the Muslims.

My son watches Thomas and Friends every morning..The Fat Controller is still there..I'm sure they haven't renamed him to Pat. Which is curious, was Postman Pat really named Postman Fat before?

[beaker]

I would like to see the andyw offensive material.

Me too. Please.

[BrilloPad]

I'm offended that some people consider these stories offensive. Please reinstate all offensive material so I will no longer be offended. Thanks.

I would like to see the andyw offensive material.

[beaker]

I'm offended that some people consider these stories offensive. Please reinstate all offensive material so I will no longer be offended. Thanks.

[TimberWolf]

http://math-www.uni-paderborn.de/~od...pigs/pigs.html

Best to get these things out into the open I think

Ah, the Ladybird books take me back, especially the “Peter and Jane” series. Highly relevant to this thread in other ways too, for example to quote the Wiki page cited below:

For example, ********* were airbrushed out. Daddy takes a more active domestic role; and Jane moved out of skirts and dresses into jeans, and abandoned her dolly for roller-skates. However, it remains notable how often Peter goes out to help Daddy, or actively plays with a ball, for example, while Jane stays at home to help Mummy, passively watches Peter, or plays with her doll.

I might get banned for using the asterisked word used in those early Peter and Jane books (or it may just been a picture) and which formed part of many of our childhood curricula.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_and_Jane

Another interesting fact paraphrased from that Wiki entry:

Murray realised that only 12 words account for a quarter of words used in everyday speaking, 100 words account for ½, and 300 words account for ¾.

Does anyone else remember reading "Here is Peter", "Peter is here", "Here is Jane", "Jane is here", "I like Peter", "I like Jane"?

[Diver]

http://math-www.uni-paderborn.de/~od...pigs/pigs.html

Best to get these things out into the open I think