Originally posted by robnjc
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Business Speak Bullsh!t Bingo begins...
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'Value added service' as in, 'I want you to think about how you can make this more of a value added service'.
Translation: You want me to do yet more things that aren't in my job role, without any renegotiation of terms or pay, by disguising it as some kind of w@nky management bullsh1t.
As the service I was supposed to be adding value to at that particular time was running 1200 timesheets through an envelope stuffing machine I was at a loss as to how I could 'add value' to the 'service' short of sticking a crisp tenner in each envelope...
HevraComment
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Originally posted by Hevra View PostAs the service I was supposed to be adding value to at that particular time was running 1200 timesheets through an envelope stuffing machine I was at a loss as to how I could 'add value' to the 'service' short of sticking a crisp tenner in each envelope...
HevraThe proud owner of 125 Xeno Geek PointsComment
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Not sure if this counts, but there are a load of androids in our office at the moment firing off the classic 'shared services' b*llsh*t.
Translation: let's find two departments that do similar things, bundle them up, sack the duplicates and pocket the savings.Comment
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Originally posted by Zorba View PostNot sure if this counts, but there are a load of androids in our office at the moment firing off the classic 'shared services' b*llsh*t.
Translation: let's find two departments that do similar things, bundle them up, sack the duplicates and pocket the savings."Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.Comment
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Originally posted by DaveB View PostAlso known as "Levereging our syngergies"Comment
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Out of the loop.
It's used a lot here (with some justification, I might add).+50 Xeno Geek Points
Come back Toolpusher, scotspine, Voodooflux.Pogle
As for the rest of you - DILLIGAF
Purveyor of fine quality smut since 2005
CUK Olympic University Challenge Champions 2010/2012Comment
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Getting some traction.
(you'll get traction .. my shoe on your @rse!)Guy Fawkes - "The last man to enter Parliament with honourable intentions."Comment
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when I was at Accidenture one of their American partners asked me "how my bandwidth was" what a tit...Some people are like slinkys, totally pointless but the thought of pushing them down a flight of stairs never fails to put a smile on your face.Comment
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Originally posted by FiveTimes View Postnot too keen on
"We have an all hands meeting"
Another one that crops up a lot in internal emails during the ongoing management reorganisation is that "X will head up department Y and will report into Z." Why they can't just head a department and report to somebody is beyond me.
Still, this is the company that just made Canada part of Europe for internal purposes.Comment
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