A left ear, a right ear and a nose walk into a bar

[Pinto]

The barman goes "I'm not serving you - you're off your face"

fairly amusing.

[NickFitz]

The barman goes "I'm not serving you - you're off your face"

I laughed until I stopped

[Dark Black]

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. He says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest says, "No, son, you're not." So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest says, "No, son, you're not." The drunk says, "Look, I can prove it." He walks back into the bar with the two priests. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?"

[Moscow Mule]

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scot walk into a pub

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

[Dark Black]

Slightly altered...

A man walked into a bar holding an alligator. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve employment agents here?" The bartender said, "Yes, we do!" "Good," replied the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have an agent for my alligator."

[Bear]

I've bought a race horse today, I've decided to call him 'My Face'.

I don't care if he doesn't win any races, or makes me any money.

I just wanna hear thousands of those posh tarts at Ascot shouting

"Come on My Face"

LR here we come

[Dark Black]

And I liked...

A crow walks into a bar wearing a pearl necklace.
He orders a drink.
"I've never seen a crow wearing a pearl necklace before", says the barman. "What do you expect with basic black?", says the crow.

[Lucy]

A crow walks into a bar wearing a pearl necklace.
He orders a drink.
"I've never seen a crow wearing a pearl necklace before", says the barman. "What do you expect with basic black?", says the crow.

Far too sophisticated for this board!

[SallyAnne]

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.

[SallyAnne]

A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says to the man, "Hey guy, you've got a steering wheel down your pants."

The guy replies "Yeah I know. Its driving me nuts!"