Problems Solved - The Doctor is in.

[Lucy]

I'm washed up, on the bench, watching daytime TV. I have no friends and cannot pull. I'm getting old and lead an extremely dull life.

It's so bad I even spend my day posting trivia on an Internet site. My life is so pathetic I even tell people what I have for breakfast!

I can't even find the hairdressers I am looking for, it's that bad.

Is there any hope for me?

Yes, of course there is hope for you, I am sure you are a good person.

I'm sure you have some friends, and I am certain you can pull.

[Lucy]

Dear Dr. Lucy,

I find my self repeatedly saying the words "Beachball" and "Bingo" together when I have no idea what to say during lulls in telephone conversations, can you beachball tell me what to do? This problem is driving my wife bingo nuts!

ST

Well, that makes you interesting and unique, I see no need for you to change.

[DBA_bloke]

I don't think you're a doctor, at all! Bloody fantasist! I shall take both my custom and painful neck elsewhere. Charlatan!

[Lucy]

I don't think you're a doctor, at all! Bloody fantasist! I shall take both my custom and painful neck elsewhere. Charlatan!

I know, but I am cheap!
(free even)

[Dundeegeorge]

Well, it's a bit convoluted, but...

I've been married to my second wife for about 10 years now, and I guess like most relationships of that length, we kind of rub along together more than anything else. We're neither of us unhappy, but there's no real heart-racing pulse-thumping excitement anymore, you know what I mean.
Well recently this very attractive lady started in our department, and we seemed to hit it off almost instantly. I'd help her find her way round the various offices and she'd stop at my desk when on her way to the coffee machine, inviting me to come along and chat, just the kind of nice friendly stuff you do with new colleagues in any office, I guess.
There was a works party at the weekend, but my wife wasn't up to it, so I went alone. After a quite entertaining meal and a few drinks a number of us decided to go on to a club, and we (her and I that is) just seemed to end up on our own in a quiet corner, chatting to each other as if we'd known each other all our lives.
Nothing happened as taxis eventually came for us all and we all went home our seperate ways. I'm pretty sure that I could have ended up going home with her if I'd wanted to, but I felt that it might have compromised her position in work, remember there were a few of us from the department out that night. However since then, she's been stand-offish towards me, and I think it's because she expected me to make a move on her but I didn't.
In view of the above, my question is, why doesn't Sasguru realise he's a twat?

[Lucy]

Well, you see DG, I think sas does realise his own inadequacies, he just tries to overcompensate and ends up in a worse state.

It is something we all do from time to time.

[sasguru]

Jealousy will get you nowhere

[Churchill]

I know, but I am cheap!
(free even)

Is that cheap as in "inexpensive" or cheap as in "free with your womanly wiles"?

[sasguru]

I know, but I am cheap!
(free even)

Yes, that's what I heard.

[Lucy]

Yes, that's what I heard.

What did you hear sas?